The First Times
by agent-of-fear
Summary: There are many first times between Lillabelle Adams and James Kirk, starting with the first time that she meets him - during in which she finds out that she's traveled 247 years into the future, of course. James Kirk/OC. Contains SPOILERS for Into Darkness, as well as swearing. I have a naughty OC.
1. I Met Him

**First of all, this story was originally Chekov/OC, but after considering my character once again how much easier it was to write her interacting with Kirk, I decided to change the story in that respect. I just feel that Lily is much more suited to James Kirk rather than Pavel Chekov, and the story will flow much better now. That is why I am publishing it from the beginning with changed and new editions. I have decided to simply replace the chapters because many of you have stated an interest in continuing to read this story. **

**This is based on the 2009 and 2013 Star Trek films. I'm sorry for any mistakes that may come up, please tell me if they do. I'm nervous about starting this, considering I wouldn't count myself as one of the 'hardcore' Star Trek fans, but I'm writing this for enjoyment and entertainment purposes. I'll try and update as regularly as I can, but to those who read my Millie story, you'll know that I try to update as much as I can.**

**Considering the year, Star Trek took place in 2258 (with Nero) and Into Darkness took place a year later, which was 2259, so I'm gonna say that this is 2260. This is when the memorial at the end of Into Darkness takes place, so it'll be just into the five year mission.**

**Now that's clear up e****njoy, I guess!**

* * *

There is no explanation toward it. If you're looking for one, then you will be disappointed.

Because there isn't one. A logical answer, that is.

I know that people at the 'Academy' - or whatever - tried to think of reasons, but they couldn't. I mean, they still _can't. _It was a... phenomenon. A break in time that snapped and cracked until, in a split second, I was there. I, Lillabelle Anita Adams, found myself 247 into the future of Earth. I feel like I have to specify that I _am _from Earth.

Because, apparently, 247 years into the future, _not _being from Earth is an option.

As you'll come to see. As I'll come to see.

I'd better start from the beginning, right? Probably the most convenient place. When it started, I was twenty. I would hardly be considered naive, nor simple minded. I could accept things with ease, I had always been able to handle situations with grace. My parents had made sure of that - they had ensured that I would be able to look after myself as a grew older...but accepting _this _had been...difficult, to say the least.

But, I'll let you be the judge that.

* * *

I woke up twice before I actually _woke up. _The first time was when I went from walking down my stairs, blacked out, and then walked into a wall that appeared out of _nowhere_. The second was when, in a state of confused annoyance, I'd opened my eyes, grimaced at _whoever _was talking and then, promptly, grunted back into an annoyed sleep.

I'm not entirely sure, but during the first blackout I think I saw stars. I remember walking down the stairs, feeling a little head rush, and then seeing billions of lights flickering behind my suddenly closed eyelids. Blinding and disorientating. _Not _the kind that you see in a cartoon, by the way. The kind that freaked me out a little and gave me a killer headache.

I fainted then though, so I'd only freaked out for maybe a nanosecond.

The third time I woke up, everything was so bloody _bright _and _white. _I'd cringed, wrinkling my nose and, for a moment, wondered _where I was. _Even in those few first seconds of waking, I'd _known _that something was really, really off. The white and the light wasn't familiar to me at all, and I couldn't place it with anywhere I _could _have woken up._  
_

I sat up quickly, eyes wide and mind buzzing. I was in a room, lying on the floor. A very white, very small room. I looked to the side and swallowed, blinking as I tried to focus on something familiar. Okay...a room blocked off by a great, glass wall.

Worrying, admittedly.

I stumbled to my feet, unsure and slow in my movements. It was hardly a room, either...more of a cell. Somewhere to keep me locked off - that much was obvious. I knew right away that I couldn't escape from this room and whoever had put me in here had made sure of that.

I walked forward nervously, nearly tripping over, and pressed my palm against the cool glass. Momentarily, my breath fogged against it.

'Who are you?'

The voice sounded from the right and I had jumped and yelped, hand flying away from the glass and to my chest. 'Jesus _Christ!' _I gasped, closing my eyes stepping back. 'You scared the _shit-' _I cut myself off, opening my eyes and glaring over to the one who had spoken. I took in a deep breath and glared at the man who had spoken to me.

He had meant next to nothing to me in that moment. Odd to think that I could have possibly been scared of him, considering how I would soon come to see him as my constant - my sense of safety. He was the first person I spoke to in the future, and because of that I saw him as something to keep close to. Like a chick seeing it's mother hen for the first time.

It was the first time I met him.

I hadn't seen him because he'd been standing to the side of the large room outside of the glass, past some desk and leaning against the wall. The whole place looked foreign, even him. He wore a yellow shirt and dark trousers. I considered that it was either uniform or by choice, but I couldn't comprehend why anyone would want to wear a shirt _that _colour.

'Who are _you?' _I shot back quickly, collecting myself and putting on the defensive. He was pretty looking, but the narrowed eyes told me that he was just as suspicious of me as I was of him. 'I don't...I don't understand where I _am'._

He had blinked at that, with his arms crossed and his eyes narrowed. 'I am James Tiberius Kirk, Captain of the _USS Enterprise_ - the ship you are currently on'. I stared at him, uncomprehending. 'The ship you _beamed _onto - how _did _you do that, by the way? We can't figure out whereyou came from-'

I waved a hand at him and put on a shrewd, impatient expression. 'The hell are you on about? I'm on a _ship _and you're the_ Captain? _And say _what _about _beaming - _if this is some kind of...I don't know - _joke, _then-'

This James guy blinked, opened his mouth, and then closed it. 'What's your name?'

'Lillabelle Adams,' I answered uneasily, crossing my arms tightly. 'Look, I _really _don't understand what's going on here. Can you please just tell me why I'm locked in here, or why I'm here _at all_?' I looked at him, expectant and scared. The man paused and slowly began to walk toward my 'cell', chewing his lip. His eyes were bright blue. A confused and hesitant blue.

'One of the Engineers found you lying on the floor. They called Medical Bay and we got you up there as quickly as we could. You've got no injuries - nothing that would suggest why you were out cold'. James Kirk tilted his head, only glass separating us. 'You're in that cell because, as the Captain, I have to make sure that you're not gonna harm my crew'.

I pulled a face, finding the idea ridiculous. 'How the hell am I gonna _harm _them?' I paused. '_Where am I?'_

He shook his head, running a hand down his face. 'I thought that you might have beamed aboard, but _you _say _you _didn't...' He peeked through his fingers. 'Where are you from, Lillabelle Adams?'

'England,' I answered quickly, unfolding my arms and chewing at a nail. 'London. What's _beaming?'_

Kirk seemed to find this question entirely confusing. He paused for a moment, as if to collect his words, and then slumped, flummoxed. 'Well, it's-' His blue eyes shot to mine, lighter in the near painful bright light. 'What were you doing before you came aboard the _Enterprise_?'

In the haze of my worry and shock, I'd taken a moment to reply, having forgotten what the _Enterprise _even was. 'Uh, walking down the stairs, if you wanna be really specific. I was getting ready to go to one of my classes'.

'Oh, yeah?' questioned Kirk. He was doing something, asking these questions to figure something out. Cerulean eyes studied me, far too steady to be casual. 'What d'you study?' He was interrogating me, finding out who I was with small questions. Considering I had nothing to hide, I played along. But, of course, that didn't mean that I wasn't stumped by the sudden questions.

I stuttered out the reply, not expecting such questions _now. _'Sociology. I'm in my first year'. I swallowed. 'Is this really relevant, uh, _Captain_?'

James Kirk gave me such a deep, concentrated look that I shut up very quickly. 'Sociology,' he mused, tone platonic. 'I haven't heard of anyone focusing on Sociology is quite some time, Lillabelle Adams'. Was he saying my name in a mocking manner, or what? 'What year is it?'

I paused, narrowed my eyes and scoffed. 'Are you serious?'

'Do you know?' he shot back, dark brow cocked in an arrogant manner that had me wanting to wring his neck.

'Of course I _know,' _I snapped. 'It's 2013, Captain _Obvious. _Can you please _enlighten _me as to where I am now? Because, in case you haven't noticed, I am _kinda _freaking out right now, and you're _really _not helping - what? Why are you looking at me like I've just announced-'

'You're from 2013'. It wasn't a question, and he didn't sound lighthearted anymore.

'_Yes'._

'2013'.

'Dude, _yeah'._

He walked briskly over to the white desk, slammed his palm against something and the glass wall that kept me locked away slid into nothing in a split second. For a moment, I was stunned at his sudden change in mood, but stepped hastily out of the cell.

'You're freaking me out,' I commented quietly, watching as he spun around. I almost didn't want to leave the now open cell but, still, I had hesitantly stepped out and fidgeted with my hands.

'Lillabelle Adams,' he sighed, rubbing his face. 'Dammit. _2013?'_

'Stop asking that!'

He pulled his hands away from his face and looked at me - _really _looked at me. His face was calm, his eyes alive. I felt my stomach drop and _knew _that he was going to say something that I wouldn't like. I think I'd _known_ then, you know. Only a tiny, little bit - I think I'd guessed.

'The year is 2260'.

And there we have it.

I stiffened and blinked, feeling stupid at the idea of this being a very elaborate prank. 'No, it's not'.

'Yes it is. By Earth date, that is'.

'...What?'

He pushed his neck back, flexing his shoulders. 'Oh, _boy. _You're on a spaceship'. He looked at me, waiting. 'In _space'. _James Kirk opened his mouth slightly and raised both eyebrows, tongue tucking between his white teeth as he waited for me to react.

I considered his poker face, a little worried for this guys sanity and my safety. 'No, I'm not'.

'Yes...you are'.

'You're mental, mate,' I laughed, stepping away from him. 'It's 2013 and we're not in space. This is some-' I backed further away. 'Some kind of joke, yeah? My friends did this, and- and-'

'Lillabelle,' he said quickly, holding up his hands. I had a feeling that he was using my first name to calm me, although hardly anyone actually _called _me Lillabelle. It was a tongue twister of a name, so most of the time I allowed others to just call me Lily. 'Look - Jesus, I need Uhura for this shit. You _are _in space. You're on a Federation vessel called the USS Enterprise, intent upon discovering new life and civilizations in..._space'._

I balked. '_Aliens? _I don't know _what _you have been smoking-'

Kirk threw his hands in the air, exasperated 'I could show you some nifty gadgets that you've probably never seen before, but I'm just gonna go with the one thing that'll make you believe me, alright?' He beckoned me forward. 'Come with me and keep your head low. We haven't alerted the whole ship of your...arrival - only the Bridge'.

Feeling very left out on some very important information, I threw my hands up in an equal manner to his. 'What _bridge? _I thought this was a _spaceship, _oh _Captain_ James Kirk'.

Kirk's face melted into an annoyed, confused one. 'Are you _mocking-? _I am a Captain!'

I merely scoffed, coming to the conclusion that I was either dreaming, or this was some very well thought out prank. It didn't exactly explain how I'd come from walking down my stairs to waking up in a very bright 'cell', but...I'd needed to cling on to any sense of sanity and reasoning. _Anything _to push myself away from the idea that I was in the _future, _of all places.

'Just come on,' ordered Kirk, spinning on his heel and marching for a door that I hadn't seen. I followed him hesitantly, speeding up when the door whizzed up into the ceiling.

Okay. That was...realistic.

The more we walked along, the more my resolve crumbled and fell around me. The halls were long, white and big - too realistic a setting. The more we walked, the more I considered the fact that I'd been kidnapped, rather than the fact that this was some University prank. Beeping sounds echoed in the distance, men and women walked past us, eyes digging into the electronic, light looking tablets that they held. They wore fairly similar outfits to the Kirk guy, although most of the women wore dresses.

They were like a blur of colours drifting past in the constant _white _of the place.

'Why is it so _bright?' _

Kirk looked of his shoulder, as if snapping out of some thought process. 'What?' He looked around, still walking quickly. 'It's not bright'.

'It's _bright'. _I caught up to him, crossing my arms. 'Look, if you've...kidnapped me or something, then okay. But could you please tell me that, rather than go through this very messed up and alarmingly believable story? I'd rather just wallow in my own self pity about being kidnapped by some maniac, than go through this whole _thing-'_

Kirk actually laughed. 'You just _won't _believe me, will you? Have you seen _anything _that was suggest any of the information I have given you to be false? You've seen people, you've seen the inside of a _spaceship, _and yet you _still _won't believe me!'

'Because you're trying to tell me that I've _time traveled_ 250 years into the future, that's-'

'247,' corrected Kirk.

Something told me that this guy would either get on my nerves, or amuse me to no end.

'I just want to go _home,' _I shot back, feeling very sorry for myself. The worst thing? Part of me was starting to consider his story as true. How could I not? We walked down halls that looked like nothing I had ever seen before. I mean, I swear that one of the people who slipped past me had a hint of very prominent green to their skin. Everything he was telling me was consistently supported by what I was _seeing-_

'I'm probably not meant to be doing this,' muttered Kirk. 'But, hey, gotta get you to believe me somehow, huh?'

'What are you talking about?' I tugged at the sleeves of my shirt nervously, worried at what he was planning to do.

Kirk nodded forward, over to the doors that we were approaching. They looked like _slidey_ ones too. 'I'm taking you to the Bridge, hopefully that'll make you believe where you _are_. The quicker you see this, the quicker you'll believe me. It's the graveyard shift, so...' he trailed off, caught in his own thoughts once again.

And then we reached the doors, and the doors slid open and I saw what Kirk had been calling the Bridge. It wasn't an actual _bridge, _something which I'd taken a while to catch up on. It was a kind of circular room, filled with only a few people. One sat at a panel at the center of the room, in front of me, while others sat at the side of the room. It was bright. It was white. It was filled with the sounds of slight beeping, lights, screens and- and in front of me-

'Space,' mused Kirk, standing beside me, all yellow shirted and cerulean eyed. 'D'you see now?'

I saw. For the first time ever, I really seemed to _see_.

I didn't notice the people in the room greet the Captain, nor their curious eyes spy me out. All I could see was the dark space glittering past the screen at the head of the room, past the chair, past the panel where one person sat. All I could see was how _real _it looked. How dark and how _there. _Space.

'Oh'. My arms dropped to my side, my sleeves drooping over my hands. My mouth felt dry, my eyes never blinked, my heart hammered. 'You weren't lying. You were telling the truth. Oh'.

'Captain, may I inquire as to why the human prisoner is-'

'Not a prisoner, Spock,' shot back Kirk, shifting next to me as I took a step forward. 'A guest on this vessel until further notice. This is Lillabelle Adams, she's, uh, not from around here'.

Future.

Space.

Future.

_Space._

I looked to Kirk, eyes wide and finger pointing. 'Dude, that's- that's _space'. _I looked back at the expanse of darkness, bringing my arm quickly to my mouth and chewing at my nails. 'I think I'm having a panic attack'.

'Captain, I fail to understand Miss Adams confusion to our seemingly obvious whereabouts-'

_'Obvious?' _I looked stiffly to this 'Spock' guy, only to have my jaw drop at his heavily pointed ears and sweeping eyebrows. Okay, so the eyebrows could have been a fashion choice, but the _ears-_

'I need to go,' I bit out quickly, turning swiftly for the door. Where I planned to go, I'm not entirely sure. I just knew that the stars and space were freaking me out, and if I looked at it a moment longer I was sure I was going to either faint or have an asthma attack. And I was drawing enough attention from the people in the room already.

'Maybe that's a good idea,' considered Kirk, obviously uneasy at my reaction. 'Chekov, you have the Conn?' He crossed his arms behind his back, looking over his shoulder to the lone guy who sat at the panel, in front of the window of...space.

'...Aye, Keptin'.

I didn't look over my shoulder, I just slipped past the sliding doors and clenched my fists, allowing the Captain to follow me. 'Spock, I'd appreciate your company on this, buddy'. I hardly heard these words. Funnily enough, I just kept thinking of walking down the stairs and how, now, I was so far into the future that I doubted those stairs even existed anymore.

Among other things, too.

* * *

**I've already received some reviews about my change in my pairing and, once again, I'm very sorry. Some of you seem disappointed but others seem to get why I'm doing this. This doesn't mean I'm done with Chekov, of course!**


	2. I Saw A Friend In Him

'Name?'

'Lillabelle Anita Adams. _Sir_,' I added hastily, much to the amusement of James Kirk, who stood beside me. The little screen in front of me was hardly a leap in technology from what I was used to, but the signal that it held was, in fact, quite impressive. If I was in the countryside and Skyping someone, my signal would be a little shitty. Here, it was impeccable.

And I was, in fact, in _space._

Spock stood to the left of me, as still as a statue with his arms crossed behind his back. I sat in the middle of the two men, staring at the uniformed man on the screen in front of me. Kirk told me, quickly, that he was from Starfleet. All I had to do was tell him everything about myself and how I'd ended up on the _Enterprise. _

We went through my date and place of birth (1994, London), my parents names (Robert and Ellen) and all that jazz. My head was beginning to hurt due to my tiredness, but it was the dull ache in my chest that had me swallowing back tears whenever I thought of the class I was missing, and how I wouldn't be able to call my mother that night. Considering I was in my first months of Uni, she liked to know how things were going.

'You say that you...saw stars?'

'Yes. Sir'.

'You passed into unconsciousness upon finding yourself in an unfamiliar environment, but between walking down you stairs and being aboard the Starship _Enterprise,_ you saw what appeared to be space?'

Sounds like a pretty good way of describing it.

'Yes, sir'.

We'd been going over this for ages. Every detail about both myself and the incident, so that they could track down any 'old' files of me from the 21st century. We were now in the 23rd century, according so Spock.

Who _was _an alien, by the way. Something called a _Vulcan_. I didn't get much more information than that, but Vulcan's must have a consistent stick up their arse, judging from Spock's general attitude toward everything.

'Captain Kirk,' said the man, who had thinning hair and the beginnings of wrinkles around his eyes and mouth. I don't think Kirk new his name, because he'd greeted him with an awkward pause, but had settled with 'sir'. After describing over and over who I was and where I was from, the guy had demanded my story in great detail.

'There is no explanation toward this...phenomenon, but I pray that you keep it under wraps, alright?' The man had a vague New York accent slipping through his words. 'Only tell those aboard your ship who are on a need to know basis, alright? Starfleet will be alerted immediately, and we'll keep you updated. For now, until I contact you, you keep her safe, and you keep her identity a secret. Are you alright with that, Miss?'

I blinked, eyes feeling dry beneath my lids. 'You reckon I should stay on this...spaceship?' Well, there's a sentence I never thought I'd be saying. 'I mean, if that's what you think is best. I don't really have anywhere else to go'.

The lump in my throat swelled.

The man looked at me from the screen, bowing his head slightly and smiling. 'No, you don't,' he agreed and Kirk shifted beside me, hand twitching as if to touch my shoulder. 'I think that, until I have spoken with Starfleet, you will be safe in the hands of the Captain and the _USS Enterprise. _Her job is to explore the unexplored and, well, this is something we haven't encountered. Not in this manner'.

He peered at me through the screen, and I wondered how far away this man was. Earth. How far away was Earth from the place in which I floated now? 'Perhaps you should get her to Medical Bay. Get one of the councilors to check her over - I hope you don't mind, Miss Adams, of course'. I peered up and nodded. 'Look after her, Kirk. This is bigger than any of us'.

'Of course, Sir'.

'Good. I'll get back to you by tomorrow'.

The call ended and the screen blinked shut, leaving us in a small silence. 'He wants me to see a shrink in case I'm some nutcase, doesn't he?' I inquired. 'Like, in case I go on some massacre around the ship?'

'I highly doubt that is the case, Miss Adams,' said Spock, unfolding his arms. I continued to look at the blank screen. 'You are obviously in a state of prolonged shock due to your circumstances. It would be logical to have Doctor Jommin asses your mental state. Wouldn't you agree, Captain?'

Kirk nodded, chewing at his lip. 'Yeah, I do'.

'Well then,' I sighed. 'So...I'm going to be living here now? Is that...it?'

Kirk stepped back to allow me room to get out of the chair. 'You heard the...sir. He's contacting Starfleet. This is _time travel - _he'll be contacting the highest of them to get this sorted out, and to find out what caused _it_. From what I know of ti-' Kirk cut himself of, while Spock and I stared at him blandly. 'Never mind,' he said, ducking to grab one of the tablets I'd seen others carrying.

'What's that?' I inquired.

'A PADD,' answered Spock quickly. 'Captain, I trust you have things under control in this current situation?'

Kirk looked up from his PADD and slipped it quickly into his pocket. 'You go to the Bridge, Spock. My shift doesn't start 'til morning, I'll take care of Lily here'. Spock gave a curt nod and exited, leaving both myself and the Captain behind. 'How'd you feel about spending the night in Medical?'

'That's the ships hospital, right?'

'Right. This is gonna be a long night, but the sooner we get this sorted, the better'. He peered at me, leading me from the room in the direction that Spock had gone. The lights were beginning to hurt my head. 'One night in Medical to see if you're a nutcase or not, and then you're free to sleep. You okay with that?'

'I just feel stoned, if I'm honest,' I admitted. Kirk snorted. 'Captain, what am I going to _do _here?'

Kirk sighed. 'I have no idea. I'm just waiting on that call from Starfleet. And don't call me Captain - you're not one of my crew, are you? Call me Jim and I'll call you Lily, yeah?'

'Sounds super'.

The Medical Bay, after a short walk, turned out to be as white as everywhere else on the bloody ship. There were _very _modern looking beds, with bright lights hanging over them and large screens - _plasma _screens, man. It was like no hospital I'd ever seen. Everything was so clean and precise and expensive looking - nothing was out of place.

'Where is he?' Jim muttered. 'Bones!'

There was a shuffle and a dull bang. '_Dammit -_ what, Jim?' A Southern accent from a Southern looking guy. Dark hair, dark eyes, big build. '_You're _back already?' he questioned, eyes shooting to me as he stepped out from behind a cupboard. 'What'd you do to her?'

Jim balked. 'I didn't do anything! Where's Doctor Jommin?'

This 'Bones' fellow looked mildly interested in me now. 'Sleeping, if there's any sanity left in the world. What do you need with a psychologist this time of night, Jim? And _why _have you-'

'So many questions,' said Jim, waving a hand in Bones' face. He moved forward, starting for one of the hospital beds. 'Yeah, this'll do. Bones, Lily here is going to need a bed for the night, seeing as I currently have no room set up for her. I'm going to need you to call Jommin and get her down here, pronto. All will be explained as soon-'

'Dammit, I'm a Doctor, Jim. I don't have time for this!'

'Right, because this place is _heaving,' _I scoffed, my brain not quite in tune with my mouth. At Bones' angry look, I shut my trap. 'Sorry'. Kirk laughed, and then laughed harder at Bones' frustrated look.

'Lily, I'm going to need to talk with Bones. You alright out here?' inquired Jim, already grabbing at Bones' arm with a smug expression to the Doctor. 'Captains orders, Bones ol' man'. He turned to me, blue eyes on my unsure form. 'Lie down, have a nap - you need it. We'll call Doctor Jommin as soon as I'm done with _this, _okay?'

'Yeah. Okay'. I touched my face self consciously. 'What do you mean _I need it?'_

Blue eyes on me - always on me. They got bigger as he laughed, hand clutching at Bones elbow. 'You look like shit, Adams'.

Ten seconds later, just as the office door shut, I was flat on my back with the bed pressed against me. I shut my eyes and placed my arms over my forehead, blocking out the annoyingly and _obvious _bright lights. How could Ki- _Jim _not see how _blinding _the lights were?

247.

The number rang in my mind like a dreaded exam date. This wasn't a dream. This wasn't a prank. I wasn't going to convince myself over and over that this was some pretend joke or anything of the sort - this was far too real, and it was real enough for me to believe everything that they were telling me. The only way I could think of getting through the night was to do every little thing that they told me to do.

I was 247 years into future, and I was completely alone.

I must have fallen asleep (I did, actually) because what seemed like ten seconds later, a hand was pressing itself against my cheek and someone was saying my name.

'Lillabelle'.

My eyes opened, and for a moment I was confused. Only a moment though. When I remembered, I looked at the woman who hovered over me and blinked at her, clambering into a sitting position.

'I'm gonna leave you with Doctor Jommin, alright?' said Jim, though it had sounded more like a statement than a question. 'She'll take care of you'. He stepped back, heading for the door. 'Tomorrow, when you're ready, report- _come_ to the Bridge. I'll have heard from the Academy by then'.

Jim left and, after a few moments of looking at me with a narrowed eyed, curious gaze, Bones had retreated into his office with a, 'Call me if you need any help, Clarissa. I've got a damn lot of files to look through - I won't be sleepin' for a couple of hours yet'.

Jommin cast her blue eyes gaze over to Bones and smiled. 'I will, Len. Thanks'.

After that, it was just us two.

Jommin moved into a white chair near my bed, balancing some papers in her hands. She looked tired, something which I immediately felt awkward about. 'Sorry,' I said. 'I heard you were sleeping'.

She smiled and shook her head. 'It's fine, Lillabelle. Or should I call you Lily? The Captain mentioned that this was your preferred name'.

'Lily's good, yeah'.

She nodded and smiled yet again, all soothing and calm. 'When I get a call from Doctor McCoy telling me that I've got to assess the mental health of a time travelling teenager - well, that's not something I'm going to pass up, Lily'.

Good. She was being frank with me.

I smiled and scooted further up the bed, crossing my legs and considering her with a tired smile. The questions started then, all in her soothing, calm voice. She was pretty, Doctor Jommin. All dark hair and pale skin and light freckles. Despite her soft voice, she was always trying to crack a joke between questions. And the questions...Jesus, they went on forever.

'Do you have any family history of mental illness?'

'Nope'. _Technically_.

Then she would write this down or tick a box on her papers, and then ask another question. The questions went deep into any past issues that I may have had, how I was currently feeling, how I felt physically and mentally.

I told her I was tired and, understandably, shocked. She nodded, told me she could tell and offered me something that would send me into a deep sleep, once the questions were done, of course. 'Doctor McCoy already gave you a quick physical when they found you - physically, you're fine. You'll just be needing a hell of a lot of sleep and frequent visits with myself'.

I blinked. 'Have a been declared sane?'

'Yes, but I'll need to meet up with you to see how you're feeling,' she smiled. 'May I ask you something as Clarissa, and not as Doctor Jommin?'

'Shoot'.

'What year are you from, exactly?' she paused and settled her pen down. 'I'm sorry if this is an insensitive question, Lily-'

I scoffed. 'I'm a time travelling twenty year old girl - I'm surprised I haven't had more curious questions. Everything else has been on a need-to-know. I'm from 2013,' I told her. 'The world didn't end. Figures'.

Jommin actually laughed at that.

'Incredible. Absolutely incredible'. Her blue eyes were wide, searching my face. 'It must be terrifying for you - to know that you're in space, I mean. Such things wouldn't have been possible for you in your time, unless you were trained for years, of course'.

I smiled. 'You should have seen me when Kirk took me onto the Bridge'.

She spoke for a few more minutes, just to make sure that I was comfortable and that I had all I needed. I told her yes, I did. In return, she gave me sleeping tablets that had me muttering for a few seconds in jumbled 'thank yous' before crashing down onto the hospital bed with an empty mind and heavy eyes.

For the third time that day, I saw stars.

* * *

Was Jim _mad? _'Oh, go to the Bridge when you wake up, la la la'.

Dude, how the heck was I supposed to know my way around a _spaceship_ in my 'fragile' state? Sure, I'd slept fully, sure, I'd been given food by one of the nurses when I'd woken up, as well as a shower, a new shirt and a pair of dark trousers. They'd promised to get my clothes to my room - apparently one had been assigned to me in my sleep.

Which had been magnificent, by the way - the sleep, I mean. I'd slept for hours straight, only to have every piece of information of the night before crash down on me when I awoke. Suddenly, everything had hit fast forward, whereas last night it was like slow motion.

The shower, unlike the sleep, had been terrifying. The nurses, who had not been told of my, um, _age, _had been utterly confused as to why I had stared awkwardly at the 'sonic shower'. What was wrong with a good old water and soap shower, my God. I told them I'd never had a sonic shower, to which they had nodded and told me it used sonic pulse vibrations to remove dirt and grime from the body.

The nurses, after my hesitation, pushed into the shower after ordering me to strip down. It had been like taking a very relaxing, cool shower that had lasted a short time. Minus the water.

It had been _weird._

The clothes they shoved at me were practical and clean - a dark shirt and dark trousers with dark boots. Thank _God _I hadn't been handed one of those dresses. After yanking any knots out of my ginger hair (yeah, not red, just ginger), and making the nurses _promise _that they would _somehow _send my clothes to whatever room I had been assigned (they'd been annoyed, but had nodded) I'd started for the Bridge.

Where, now, we find that I have no idea where the Bridge is.

I mean, I _went _there, but I don't remember where it was or how to _get _there. I'd been dead on my feet the night before, as well as in a _slight _state of shock. Every hall on the _Enterprise _looked the same to me. White, bright and plain.

To make it worse, the halls had been milling with more people than the night before. They all wore those different colored shirts and dresses, and each of them had pointedly ignored my existence.

I had been too scared to ask them for directions.

Knowing me, I'd probably walked past the Bridge already. Hence the doors all looking exactly the same and blending into the walls, though, it's likely that I hadn't _known _there was a room there at all.

Ugh.

How can someone be so unlucky?

Unlike with most damsel in distress stories, no one found me and escorted me to the Bridge. After another half an hour of wandering around aimlessly, I recognized the large slidey doors and had sighed in utter relief.

Upon the doors sliding open to reveal Jim swiveling around in his chair with an exasperated expression, I just grimaced at him. 'Might have gotten a little lost,' I muttered, noticing how the Bridge was _much _busier than it had been last night. 'For half an hour,' I added, standing in front of him and avoiding bumping into anyone.

'I called Medical Bay. Bones said that you left an hour ago,' Jim, said, resting his elbow on the arm of the chair and cocking a brow at me. Every expression that settled onto that face was enough to remind me how good looking he was, and how awful I probably looked. It was a niggling feel at the back of my mind, something to distract me from all of the shitty chaos.

I merely coughed distractedly.

Jim just grinned and flourished into a standing position, letting his chair swivel around into the correct direction. '_Bridge_,' he announced. 'Meet Lillabelle Adams!' I looked at him, wide eyed and flushing. A few eyes strayed over to me, some smiled, some nodded.

_'I hate you,_' I whispered furiously.

'Lieutenant Uhura!' said Jim, ignoring me entirely. 'Have you managed to translate those Klingon transcripts I sent you?'

'73% complete, Captain,' said the woman he had addressed, half turning in her chair. She looked at me in a sense that told me she knew _exactly _who I was, and smiled. 'They'll be finished by 1200 hours, Captain'._  
_

'Lovely,' beamed Jim.

'You're in a good mood,' I observed, watching him hesitantly.

'We've made course for a new planet,' said Jim, smiling at the expanse of space in front of us. I kept my eyes sorely away from the sight. 'It's _ancient. _Starfleet is only now giving us permission to study it and its people. Hard to believe, considering last time I was given permission to do so, I accidentally revealed a spaceship to a race that hadn't discovered the _wheel _yet'.

The idea seemed ludicrous and unbelievable.

'You really go on to these alien planets?' I inquired quietly, glad that the Bridge was buzzing with people all of a sudden. They were so busy that, despite a few sidelong glances, they got on with their work.

'Sure,' said Jim. 'Once we're over the planet, I'll let you have a look, if you want'. Before I could reply, he carried on. 'Although, you _will_ be seeing a lot more than that. Starfleet has given you permission to stay aboard the vessel while they look into your case, considering that Doctor Jommin declared your pretty little head sane'.

I blinked at him, registering the words. 'Oh. Wow'.

Jim snorted. '_Yeah. _Welcome aboard'. All in a night, this had happened. One night. 'I've assigned you a room made for an Ensign. Nothing special, but it'll suit your needs - there's a bed, a desk, a dresser and a bathroom. We sent your bag up there earlier, after security checked through it'.

'My _bag,' _I breathed. 'I'd forgotten that I'd had it, when-'

'Keptin,' called a voice from in front of us. Where only one had sat the night before, there was now two. It was that Russian accent that spoke once again, but this time I was able to place a face to the voice. 'Keptin, ve'll be reaching the unknown planet in 127 minutes'.

'Sounds good, Mr Chekov'.

This Chekov nodded to his Captain, eyes flashing to me and turned back around, eye on the panels and the stars before him. He bowed down and uncrossed his legs, concentrating and-

'-Starfleet even mentioned something that you could be doing aboard the _Enterprise. _How does that sound?' Jim cut across my thoughts, snapping me away from any mixed up wondering.

'Sounds super'.

Jim nodded and crossed his arms, gazing out at his working crew. Out of the corner of my eye, I looked at him, with his pillowy lips, blue eyes and ridiculously tousled hair. He was pretty, that much was obvious. He was sarcastic, friendly, and he looked out for his crew. From the way he had questioned me and made sure I was no threat, I would go as far to say that he loved his crew.

And I could understand that Jim Kirk was someone I could be friends with.

* * *

**As you can see, I'm merely tweaking very small things in these early chapters because, honestly, there's not a lot _to _change. I'm not one for focussing too much on the romantic stuff, especially when I want to keep Lily's reactions and interactions realistic.**

**On a different note, follow me on Tumblr - I'm chekowv! **


	3. I Appreciated Him

Jim was right; the room was simple.

A square room with a sharp bed frame in the corner (mattress provided, of course), a desk beside the bed, a dresser on the wall beside that and then, finally, a doorway leading to the bathroom. After stepping past _that _whooshing door, I found that the bathroom was equally as small, with one of those nifty sonic showers, a toilet and a sink. Upon closer inspection, I saw that a small screen was embedded into the wall beside the bed, much like the one Jim had contacted that Starfleet guy on. This one, though, was smaller and far less expensive looking.

Give me a mini fridge, and I could hole up this joint for a whole month.

'Your room number is 280596. You see what I entered before, you just do that,' said the guy behind me, hovering in the doorway. Kirk _had _said his name as he'd called the guy up to the Bridge to show me to my room, but I just couldn't remember it at all. 'I'll...go now. Welcome aboard'.

'Thank you,' I said quietly, looking over my shoulder to see his smile disappear behind the door whooshing shut. I turned back around, noticing my bag and the bed, next to a folded bundle of my clothes.

My movements were jerky and quick as I grabbed at the bag, hoisting it into the air and letting every little piece of junk in there drop onto the floor. A notepad, a pen, a lighter, a highlighter, _Fanta _lip balm, body spray, my purse, my phone, a tube of mascara and a discarded, beaded bracelet. I stared at the mess on 'my' bed, knowing that these were now my _only _belongings in this world - this _future_ that I had stumbled into as a complete stranger.

I flexed my fingers and let the bracelet snap onto my wrist and grabbed at my phone. No signal, of course. No messages, no voice mails. The only things that I would be able to access were the pictures, videos, games, music and apps. But I didn't want those. Well, sure, I would want them _some _time, but right now I wanted to be able to see what my friends were tweeting, text my mother-

But I couldn't do that. They'd died over a hundred years ago.

That thought - that one thought - had me panicking like never before. I'd skipped years and years of ever being alive, only to materialize in a time that held no promise or evidence of me ever existing in the first place. My mother and father had died without knowing where I was because, surely, I had disappeared that day. They'd never found me.

I cried then, finally. I usually don't like hearing about someone crying - it's automatically so distasteful. Some think it makes a person weak, mopey, _moany_. But I was crying because I was alive and, oddly, I had never felt so alive. Perhaps it was because every person I knew was dead. I was _panicking. _Every single person that I had ever heard of or seen was long gone - even their bodies would be dust by now. My house would be gone, my clothes, my belongings. My friends would have had children, got married, traveled like we spoke of - all in years and _years_, but it had felt like seconds to me.

I couldn't explain it, nor describe it.

I cried for hours, so we will skip those details. I lay on that annoyingly comfortable bed, surrounded by my last remaining possessions and wondered what life would have in store for me now. Deep and cliche thoughts, I know, but...what _would _I do? Jim had briefly mentioned a job for me, but I think he'd seen the news of staying on the _Enterprise _slowly start to sink in and had panicked about having a hysterical woman on the Bridge.

Then he called whats-his-name, and here I was.

After scrubbing away the salty tears from my sticky and wet cheeks, I looked at my belongings for a moment and piled them into a draw at my desk, where they would be safest. My phone, though, I turned off. I wasn't ready to see whatever pictures I might have taken of friends or family, nor listen to music that was probably considered 'vintage'.

The fact that Britney Spears could ever be considered vintage had made me snort and sniff.

My clothes were dumped into the top draw of the dresser after that, and I'd wondered whether I'd be supplied with clothes. Considering how helpful the crew of the _Enterprise _had been so far, I guessed so. The Captain especially. Despite everything, I'd found myself really liking Jim. Laid back, nice, cocky and good looking.

My kinda guy.

I didn't know what to _do _with myself. The thought of actually living on a _spaceship _for God knows how long hadn't settled in properly yet. I mean..._a spaceship. _I was currently _in space. _Further in space, apparently, than any man or woman from my time had been before. The Russian - Chekov - had said that we were approaching an unknown planet. And the Uhura woman had said she was deciphering some language called _Kl_- well, I can't remember it. But an _alien language._

And Spock, the guy with the _ears - _he _was _an alien. A living, breathing image of what had once been a hope and an idea. In all honestly, my thoughts on aliens had been that they would be little green men running around with laser guns, not...well, a _Legolas _look alike. Minus the flowing blonde hair and dazzling blue eyes.

But hey, what do I know?

But...the people aboard the _USS Enterprise _were used to this kind of thing, which told me that aliens and new technology had been discovered long, long ago. But for me, it had been discovered in seconds flat, and the information and foreign feel of it all had been hurled at me at a lightening speed.

Jesus. I needed some of those nifty sleeping tablets again.

I rubbed at my eyes, blinking away the tears and the redness, splashing water from the bathroom sink onto my face to rid myself of the uncomfortable stickiness. A mirror hung above the sink with one light dotted above it, illuminating the sheer _roughness _of my appearance. Blood shot brown eyes, pink cheeks, messy red hair and smudged mascara.

Fantastic.

I scrubbed away the remnants of my mascara and wondered idly how many the Captain had told of my...well, where I came from. _When _I came from, actually. He'd told that Doctor - Bones - and the alien - Spock. I could only guess that from the edgy look that woman had given me, that she also knew. But they were the only three that I knew for _definite. _

I was glad that he _had _told a few people, but not too many. I couldn't do with hiding it, but I also couldn't do with too many people knowing. I could only guess that time travel hadn't yet been invented in this future.

But it hadn't been invented in _my _past, so how the heck did I end up here in the first place?

With an angry grunt at the mirror in front of me, I grabbed at a towel, dabbed my face and plodded back into the bedroom. The bracelet on my wrist was quickly used as a hairband, whilst the jeans in my draw replaced the dark trousers that had been supplied by the nurses in the Medical Bay. The shirt, on the other hand, looked to be the same material that everyone else wore, only back and without those metal looking, curved logos on the breast.

'_Lily?'_

I jumped as I finished buttoning up jeans, wildly looking about the very bare and Jim-less room.

'...Jim?' I whispered, mystified. _'Have you been in here the whole time?'_

There was a very loud silence, and something told me that he had not heard me. '_Of course you don't know how the use it. Turn around and look at the screen on the wall - near the bed?'_ Ah, the blank screen. I turned and, sure enough, there it was. '_You see that green button on the screen? You press that if you wanna answer a call from anyone, yeah? You can hear me until then, but I can't hear _you_'._

'Well,' I said, doing just that. 'Isn't that just nifty'.

Jim scoffed._ 'Ain't it just? Communicators can hook up to those 'nifty' little screens in all the crews living quarters. I'm guessing the guys who made the Enterprise forgot about the communicators being easier to use, though'_. I could practically still hear the shrug in his voice. '_Something which I'm gonna have to get you - I mean, you'll be part of my crew soon'._

I was about to open my mouth to question what my job would _actually _be, but Jim cut me off.

'Any_way, get that pretty red head down to the Bridge so that I can show you an unknown planet before I beam down to it with Mr. Spock, comprende?_' He paused. '_Do you know the way?'_

'_Yes, _I know the way!' I grumbled. 'Can the _rest _of you crew hear you belittle me?'

Jim merely laughed and cut off the connection after a, '_See? We are getting to know each other, Lillabelle_'. After that, the screen went from white to black once again, and the number on the screen showed that I had only been talking to Jim for a few short minutes.

This was good. If I was in the company of others, I would be less likely to mull over horrible things like- well. Things that I had already been mulling over. Because this...this was exciting, right? I had been given the opportunity to see space and planets and stars and travel on a spaceship and see things that would have been impossible.

I was the luckiest unluckiest person, and all I could do was feel guilty about my excitement.

True to my word, ten minutes later I was wandering past the sliding doors that led to the Bridge, lingering at them until Jim turned and waved me in. The Bridge had felt like a kind of...secure place - somewhere only those who had _earned _it could go. And here Jim was, waving me in with a big grin on his face. Sure, he was used to all of this, but I _wasn't_.

He was excited about showing me it all.

What did you mean when you said you would 'beam' down to the planet?' I inquired, standing beside the Captain's chair as the Bridge buzzed around me. There was talk of coordinates, of securing the safety of something, of ensuring that the planet did not inhabit hostiles.

Jim looked up at me, all cerulean eyes and white teeth. 'There are _so_ many things that I gotta show you, Lillabelle,' he said, a trace of awe in his speech. I blinked at him, hoping that was true. Hoping that he would show me these things because Jim was, evidently, a passionate man who wanted to teach me. 'I'll show you what beaming is, but first, you wanna see an alien planet?'

I blinked, a small smile whipping across my face. 'Uh, _yeah'._

'Ten minutes until ve are in orbit of the planet, Keptin'.

'Thank you, Mr Chekov'. Kirk looked to me once again. 'Y'see,' he started, standing. He paused to wave me forward, and I walked to the front of the Bridge with him, up to that gaping window that scared the shit out of me. 'This planet, although unknown, is a Class M planet - meaning we know that it is suitable for humanoid life. Starfleet has been studying it from afar, but what we've gathered so far is that the atmosphere contains nitrogen and oxygen-'

Jim cut himself off, catching my eye as I looked at him with vague interest. He waved a hand and jutted his chin forward.

'Ah, screw it. There's you Class M planet, kid'.

And although I was vaguely aware of members of the Bridge looking at me, I'd _allowed _my jaw to drop and my hands to fall to my side. Because before, I had not allowed myself to get so close to the glass at the front of the Bridge, to really _see _what lay beyond it. And yes, there were stars, there was darkness, and there was...that planet.

It was beautiful.

It had kind of reminded me of Mars, in an odd way. Well, pictures of Mars that I had seen in Primary School when I was around eleven, anyway. By this, I mean that it had looked like a huge, beige grain of sand, so many different shades of brown and red swirling into this...planet. This real, _alien _planet - and I was seeing it how only a select few had seen Earth. From a far away distance, to admire its full..._full_ness.

'Holy shit,' I spluttered, pressing a palm against the thick, cool glass. I felt Jim shift behind me, drawing himself closer to me to watch my reaction, to gauge out the wideness of my flabbergasted eyes.

His voice was quiet, charming, amused. 'You feeling better now?' Lips were pulled back over white teeth, and I could see the indent of a very small scar near his mouth.

Half of own my mouth pulled upward in an attempt at a smile, though I was partly mortified at the idea that I'd had puffy eyes while walking onto the Bridge. 'Hey, you have to be nice to me. I get the _my family died like two centuries ago so be nice to me _card'.

'I _am_ being nice to you!'

'You're making _fun-'_

'Captain,' said a cool voice from behind us, and while Kirk went about addressing Spock and clearing his throat, I went about staring fixedly at that dusty planet suspended before me, while the people on the Bridge went about their jobs like this was _normal_. Which it _was_ for them, of course. 'Captain, Mr Scott had informed me that we are now ready to be beamed down onto the surface of the Class M planet. First, though, we will need to be fitted into the appropriate-'

'Got it, Spock,' said Kirk, hopping up onto the platform. 'Mr Chekov?'

'Two minutes until ve are in orbit, Keptin'.

'Lovely,' said Jim. I turned to him, wide eyes staring at him from over my shoulder, and he grinned. 'Right?' he said, holding his hands, palms up, at his side as if to say _how sick is that?_

Sick used in the modern slang sense that means 'good', of course.

I merely shook my head and looked back out to the planet, awed at how _big _it was. Undiscovered and unexplored. Jim had said it was ancient - it had been here while I had lived in 2013, sitting here without anybody _knowing. _

As Jim turned _Captain _and ordered his crew to keep the Conn on, to listen out for any messages and to 'lay low' until Spock and himself were beamed back aboard and the verdict was given (I have no idea what that means), I drew my hand away from the cool glass and turned back to Jim, waiting for him to take me to this 'beaming' thing that was apparently going to happen.

All I could imagine was light, although I had no idea how that would work, nor help them get to the planet.

'Lily, get over here. You wanna see what beaming is?'

I hopped onto the platform, sliding past the '_something_' helm station in which Chekov and the other guy sat at and grinned at Jim, suddenly full of a wiggling, niggling excitement. 'Aye, _Captain_'.

Jim merely rolled his eyes and waited for me to join him, while members of the Bridge _stared. _

'I did appreciate that, y'know,' I informed him, taking one last glance at the planet as the doors whooshed shut behind the lot of us. 'It was...' fan-fucking-tastic '...cool'.

'Cool,' snorted Jim. 'Alright'.

* * *

'I think that the lights are brightest in this room, you know,' I informed Jim, hanging back as he and Spock were helped into dark astronaut looking suits, complete with the plastic visors and moon boots. _Swanky._

Jim's voice crackled through the speaker in his suit as a woman with thick, green skin (I had been alarmed, to say the least. Jim had been amused, though he'd tried to hide his amusement as much as I had tried to hide my shock) made sure that everything was a-okay. 'I have no idea what you're talking about,' he replied, eyes roving over his suit and the interior of his helmet.

'Aye,_ I_ do,' said a quick, thick Sottish accent. The guy - Scotty, he had asked me to call him - was someone of whom I had taken an instant liking too, and seemed one of the most _real _people I had met on this ship so far. He was rough, honest and playful - and I had liked him for his roots, also. Any person from the United Kingdom was a friend of mine. 'Give you a headache,' he observed, leaning over some buttons and screens.

I looked pointedly at Jim, who just sighed.

'Captain, I believe that we will be in orbit of the unknown planet by this point in time,' said Spock, his own cool voice talking through the intercom. They both looked ridiculous in the things, but I said nothing. 'It would be advisable for us to beam down now so that we are able to make a decision on whether the _Enterprise _should find safe ground to allow for a more in depth exploration of the planet'.

Jim nodded once. 'I agree, Spock. Shall we?'

I watched avidly as they walked over to a circular area at the head of the room that I _had _been eyeing. The lights shone brightly there, glaring and harsh and white. I watched as Jim and Spock lumbered into specific places on the platform and, with one last word of,

'Scotty, look after her. Lily, don't anger a Scotsman'.

It had only then occurred to me that Jim was leaving me alone for a short amount of time, and although the thought panicked me, I could not help but gasp and splutter when, after saying, clearly, '_Energize_', both himself and Spock were wrapped in a swirl of gold and silver, before disappearing entirely.

'You've gotta be kidding me'.

* * *

**Slowly getting there with the chapter replacements. Thanks for the feedback!**


	4. I Appreciated Him Part II

'-posted out there for _months. _And then what happens? Some Vulcan comes waltzing in and gives me the equations for transwarp beaming - just like that!' As if to put emphasis on his point, Scotty snapped his fingers. 'I've said it once and I'll say it again, lass: it never occurred to me to think of _space _as the thing that was moving. That's why I'd never been able to achieve it before!'

Although I understood only a small amount of what he was saying, I was actually _listening _to what Scotty was saying. After my jaw practically dropping to the ground upon seeing Jim and Spock disappear into thin air, Scotty had given me a brief run down on what the heck had just happened, as well as _how _it had happened.

It was called 'beaming'. Basically, the process of moving something or someone from one place to another - commonly used on the _USS Enterprise _to get crew members onto planets, and then back up again. Apparently it was this 'big thing', because you could 'beam' someone while the ship was moving, or something along those lines.

And in my time, we had thought that the 'speak instead of type' option on a phone was oh so _modern._

'It's...insane,' I said, going with the word that best fit what I had seen. 'You would _never _see something like that from my time'. _My time. _Not _where I'm from._ Would I always be completely lost in conversation, not just because of my lack in knowledge of all things science and engineering, but also because I had 250 years of learning to catch up on?

'Aye, yes, yes,' said Scotty, leading me along the corridors. He never seemed to move out of the way when someone walked toward us, but instead waited until _they_ moved to the side. 'O' course. The Captain is a good Captain - a _very _good Captain, but if he says he isn't a gossip, he's a liar, lass. He told us about you, under the permission of Starfleet o' course. It was one of my own engineers that found you down there, knocked out flat'.

I blinked at that, moving swiftly to walk in stride with the fast paced Scotty. It was proving to be difficult to understand his accent and keep up with him at the same time. 'Jim did say that someone found me,' I clarified. 'You'll have to thank whoever it was for me'.

Scotty waved a hand. 'O' course, o' course. But, honestly, he only told a wee few people, mostly those on the Bridge and such - y'know, those he can trust with the information'. He looked at me, ginger and Scottish and looking as if he was bursting to say something else. 'Well - it's rather interesting, o' course,' he settled with after a moment.

I blinked and snorted. 'You could say that, yeah'.

'Captain'll look after you, lass. And looks like he's got a job lined up for you already, if my guess is correct'. Scotty nodded ahead to an elevator which we quickly slid into. After leaning forward to press a button, Scotty looked sideways to me. 'I mean, Security Division is going to be needing some more muscle. You have any combat experience, lassie?'

I nodded, wondering what this Security Division was. 'Archery since I was twelve and, for a little while, boxing'. I left out the part where my mum made me quit because I got punched in the nose by Kathryn _Colossus_ Carter and wouldn't stop bleeding for two hours.

Scotty nodded. 'Captain'll get you to stay on this ship - he'll find you a job. He does with everyone he likes, like Carol Marcus'. Scotty smiled at that, a happy little smile that was so lovely I had to stop myself from laughing. 'Security Division is where the, well, Security of the ship are. Redshirts - they go out on ground missions and make sure that the Scientists and the Doctors don't get into too much trouble. Bodyguards,' Scotty clarified finally.

'That doesn't sound _awful'._

'You tell that to the red shirts,' Scotty muttered under his breath.

'What?'

'Nothin', lass. How'd you fancy coming down to Engineering with me? I can show you the ins and outs of this beauty right here'. He patted the _Enterprise _with a firm touch.

I'd wanted to, really. But I was tired, I was overwhelmed, I was taking my time. 'Raincheck?' I requested. 'I want to, I really do. Can you show me next time you're free? You could teach me a thing or two, considering how clueless I am'.

Scotty nodded and grinned and waved me down the hallway, pointing me in the vague direction of the Ensign's rooms.

* * *

I didn't know where to go, so I just headed back to my bare, unwelcoming room.

As I've said before, the moment I find myself on my own, I become mopey, sad and homesick. I think about where I am and what that involves, and it leads to emotions and _thinking _that I honestly can't be bothered with.

I instantly regretted leaving Scotty behind. The moment I rounded the corner I knew that I should have accompanied him to Engineering, the place in which I had appeared on this ship. It would have been interesting, a distraction while Jim was off doing professional, Captain things.

I didn't know the time, but I could guess that it was some time into the afternoon and all that I could wish for was for Jim to come back and...and, well, _look after me. _But I felt stupid and selfish, just _assuming _that Jim would work everything out for me and give me a life and a purpose in this new, futuristic place. He'd given me a home and a maybe job, I just needed to find my way myself.

But I didn't _want_ to.

I wanted home and I wanted familiarity. I didn't want to feel so bloody _lost _all of the time.

'Um, red head!'

And there she was, my savior and my soon to be friend. I turned, only then realizing that I had been tripping lazily down the corridor without really picking up my feet. She was standing down the white lit hall, wearing one of the colored uniforms. Her dark hair was up and her mouth twitched into a smile. 'You alright there?'

I considered lying, but went with the truth. 'I am _so_ lost,' I said, giving up entirely.

She laughed and walked toward me, her uniform red and her ponytail swinging. 'I _could_ see you getting more and more lost,' she snorted, holding out a hand. 'I'm Ensign Sammander Deva and _you _must be the girl who's been causing all the gossip around the ship, huh? Once the nurses down in Medical got wind of you, everyone on the ship knew about the 'new girl'.

I scoffed at that, actually believing it. 'Is it really that obvious?' Quickly, I took her hand.

Sammander snorted and shook my hand once, then pulled away. 'Painfully. Have you got a name?' She was from America, but by the sounds of her accent it was a Southern State, for sure.

'Lillabelle, but call me Lily'.

'And you may call me Sam. Where are you trying to get to, Lily?'

'Well, my room, actually-'

Sammander clicked her tongue, causing me to stop talking. 'Jeez, haven't they given you a PADD or Communicator yet? You _are _a crew member, aren't you?' she inquired, pausing in grabbing something from her pocket.

'I _think _so'.

'Oh?'

'Security,' I supplied. '_Maybe_'.

'_Exciting,' _said Sam, pleased with my answer. 'I'm in Security. They give you a phaser, so I was born for the job from the beginning'. She pulled out one of the PADD's that I had seen Jim and Spock and other crew members of the _Enterprise _use. In her lovely accent, she said, clearly, 'Computer, where is Lillabelle-' she cut herself off. 'Shit, what's your last name?'

'Adams'.

A cough. 'Computer, what deck is Lillabelle Adams room on?'

It was a female voice that replied, placid and straight forward, much like the voice of my Sociology lecturer at University. '_Deck F, Sammander'._

I nodded, smiling in thanks at Sammander as she put away the PADD with a triumphant grin. 'Right, I _need _to remember that. Thank you, by the way,' I added quickly, to which Sam merely waved a hand at.

'Can't resist a pretty face, me,' she said, smiling with her dark eyes. 'I've gotta run, but I'll be seeing you around, Lillabelle Adams'. She retreated backwards, raising a hand in salute. 'Come find me some time. I'm almost always in the Cafeteria eating and, if you _do _go ahead with Security, oh mysterious one, I'll help you out, yeah? Hope you can take the heat,' she winked.

'Yeah,' I said. 'Let's hope'.

She just smiled and rounded the corner with one last wave, not realizing how much she had _helped _me and _assured _me that, even though I would always be lost, I could at least rely on the kindness of others to help me.

It took me ten minutes to get myself onto the familiar Deck F and scuttle back to my quarters to await word from Jim or anything like that. I would also have to ask for a map of the ship off of the Captain, as well as the PADD and Communicators that I'd been promised.

Because, apparently, without them I was as good as fucked.

My good mood, though, was quite squashed and killed as I stood in front of my room door, a blank and dead expression on my face. I _knew _that this was my room, but I just _couldn't _remember the bloody _pass code._

That _guy. _He'd given it to me when he'd taken me to my room. Crap, what _was _it?

'Two, eight,' I muttered, grabbing at my head and closing my eyes tight. _Think, Lily. _I knew this, I'd hummed the numbers over and over in my head when he had given them to me, having been determined to remember them. I'd muttered a loud and annoyed, '_Bollocks!' _the moment the quick footsteps had started at the end of the corridor.

Mortified, I'd looked up from my hands and over my shoulder, face growing hot when I met the surprised and wide pair of light, grey eyes. The pale and cute Russian. Fantastic.

'Oh,' I squeaked, stalling. 'Hello'. Brilliant first impression, Lily. Just brilliant. First you're the weird new girl who tags along with the Captain, and now you're the foul mouthed deranged girl who swears at doors. _Brilliant._

Chekov walked forward, brows furrowed and pale hands swaying at his sides.

'You are Lillabelle Adams, yes?' he inquired, bringing his head forward slightly and peering at me, forehead wrinkling. Before I could nod, he carried on, 'Are you okay?'

'Er-' I looked to the door, then back to him. 'Yes _and _no'. I smiled sheepishly, stepping away from the door. 'I've forgotten my room number code _thing'. _Bloody hell.

A look of understanding dawned and he nodded, completely serious. 'Vell, it is good that I left my Communicator in my room,' he said. 'I can now help you to remember your room number, Miss Lillabelle. It should not take long, and it would be entirely bad of me to leave you in distress. A Russian man _always _helps someone in distress,' he said, moving forward so that his fingers lingered over the buttons on my door.

'Do you remember _any_ of the numbers?'

'Uh, yeah. Two and eight. I'm pretty sure that there was a five and a six in there too'.

And so, there we stood for ten minutes. He was surprisingly patient, thankfully.. In that short time, I concluded that Chekov was a talkative, excitable and smart Russian. He could fit a million words into a sentence, and must have made references to many unrelated things, such as leaving his post on the Bridge, forgetting his Communicator and commenting on how my room was across from his, two doors down.

'Do you think that's it?' I asked finally, just when we thought I may have remembered all of the numbers through his coaxing.

Chekov looked up from the buttons and smiled. 'Ve shall see now, Lillabelle'. He _had _tried to call me 'Miss', but I'd scoffed and told him that was just _silly._

He whispered the numbers as he entered them. 'Two, eight, zero, five, nine..._six!' _He sprung back from the door, smiling triumphantly as the said door slid open with a very quiet and quick _whoosh. _'Da!'

I smiled brightly, thanking him profusely and apologizing for keeping him for so long. 'It is nothing, Lillabelle. The Keptin and Mr Spock are still on ze planet, meaning zat ze Bridge is very quiet and awaiting their arrival back onto ze _Enterprise'._

'Still,' I said, feeling quite proud of myself for making yet another acquaintance and perhaps a friend. Go me. 'Thank you'.

But he wasn't done. 'And, if I may be so bold, I think zat you are very admirable - to be approaching this lifestyle with such _храбрость. _Ack!' He closed his eyes and looked for a second as if he might slap himself on the forehead. 'I have not properly introduced myself'. He looked at me, perhaps an inch taller with unblinking eyes. 'I am Pavel Chekov, Navigator of the _USS Enterprise'._

'Alright,' I said, smiling. 'If I call you Pavel, then you've gotta call me Lily, okay?'

He smiled yet again. 'I can do zat, yes'.

'Jesus,' I said, stepping into the room and wincing as the lights blared on. '_Please _tell me that _you've _noticed how bright the lights are on this ship? I don't even know how to turn these ones _off!'_

Pavel, still lingering in the doorway, looked highly pleased as the prospect of teaching me something else. 'Allow me, Lilla- ack, _Lily. _Lights to fourty eight percent,' he said carefully, fighting around his thick accent. And, by command, the lights dimmed somewhat to a more bearable beam.

I looked up and shook my head, awed and a little baffled.

'I will never get used to the future'.

Pavel smiled and waved goodbye, disappearing behind my closing door to enter his own room. I backed into the wall, rubbing at my tired eyes and counting off the names I knew already. Jim, Jommin, Sam, Chekov, Bones, Uhura, Spock...shit, who else?

Scotty!

Man, how could I forget Scotty?

I sat there for a while after that, fiddling with the beads on my bracelet and wondering exactly what was happening on that planet. The main reason, Jim had said, that they went down there was to see if it was safe. That's why they took the 'Redshirts' with them. _Was _it safe? Would these people I had just met be safe?

Were they _used _to this kind of danger?

The idea scared me, yet...yet it was also kind of exciting. Everything about the _USS Enterprise _was so new and clean and unfamiliar, even the people practically screamed hot and young and genius prodiges. Did a number on your self esteem, yeah, but it was _exciting. _I almost...almost felt guilty for that fact. The fact that I had finally, after so many years of trying to find something worth grabbing onto, found something so selfishly exciting, so far away from home.

And James Kirk had told me that he would show me it all.

And I knew that I appreciated him, and not because he had showed me a Class M planet that was lost in space to make me feel better about being homesick, but because he genuinely wanted to teach me and to show me this foreign universe that was splayed out in front of me. He hardly cared about the rules of it all, he just wanted to taint my mind with the colour of the future.

And I was perfectly okay with that.

* * *

**I had to keep the Chekov conversation, I just loved how he was with Millie to cut him out simply because he's not longer a love interest. **

**Thank you for the feedback!**


	5. I Made Him Laugh

'Something tells me that I'm not allowed to be on the Bridge half as much as you allow me to be'.

Jim smiled as I entered, turning away from the front of the ship. It had been two hours since Pavel Chekov had left me at my door, and ten minutes since a ship wide echo had ordered 'Lillabelle Adams to the Bridge, please'.

'Unless I tell you to come here, you're meant to ask for permission to enter the Bridge. Just for future reference,' he added, taking a step toward me. He looked okay, so I could only assume that he hadn't been attacked by some demented, hostile alien species. 'Scotty take care of you?'

'We'll discuss that later,' I said, waving my hand. 'What was the planet like - is that why you called me up here?'

Jim blinked and smiled dazzlingly, and I swore I saw one of the women in yellow stagger as they passed us. 'Lots of dirt and sand. Very rocky. From what we can see, there's not much plant life or water, but Spock and I only surveyed a small sector of the planet. We already know that it's _able _to hold and support life...' Jim paused, chewing on the side of his mouth as he looked to the front of the Bridge, out of the glass and to the planet that lingered beyond.

'What?'

'It just doesn't make sense. Spock said so himself. It _can _support life, and...' Jim clucked and hefted himself heavily into the Captain's chair, slack and grumpy looking.

'_What?' _I insisted, rounding the chair to get a look at him.

'It's hollow'.

'Hollow?'

Spock's voice slid in among the lull of the chatter. 'What the Captain is trying to say, Miss Adams, is that the Class M planet has a thick outer shell, but beneath that there is a hollowness that may present the chance of life - if there is any - to be beneath the surface of the crust'._  
_

My mouth popped into an O. 'If there _is _any life, why would they want to live _beneath _the planets surface? Doesn't that kinda mean they don't want to be found?'

Spock, with a small inclination of his head, said, 'Precisely. But it could also suggest that, if a race of beings inhabits the planet at all, that they have adapted to living beneath the surface for survival reasons'.

Kirk huffed. 'They could be _hiding_ from something'. Blue eyes swiveled up to meet mine. 'These are all theories, though. We have to explore every reason before sending a team onto the planets surface, just so we know what to expect. It's the usual drill with new planets. You'll get used to it'.

I smiled. 'I'm not sure I will, Captain'.

Jim wrinkled his nose at the address. 'We assembled a team of redshirts yet, Spock?'

Spock paused briefly, moving with precise hands that folded behind his back. 'If you are referring to a security team, then yes, Captain. They are ready to beam down onto the planet at your command'.

'Good. How many?'

'Six, Captain'.

'Will you be joining them, Mr Spock?' There was a lilt in Jim's voice that suggested he _knew _that Spock _would_ be joining the 'redshirts', though I could only guess that it was a private 'joke' between the two.

The thought of Spock joking had me biting the sides of my mouth.

'I believe it would be fitting to have a Science Officer to continue to survey the planet along with the team, Captain. In answer to your question, that is an affirmative'. A pause. 'Captain, may I inquire as to why Miss Adams has been brought to the Bridge so often in the past hours?' Spock directed his question to the Captain, his eyes never trailing to me.

_That _drew my attention away from the window at the front of the Bridge (and the curly head that my eyes had been drawn to too, I won't lie). I looked to Spock, then to Jim, blinking.

Jim considered this with an equally surprised look. In all honesty, I _had _wondered.

'I have my reasons,' said Jim.

'Captain-'

'Shouldn't you be joining the away team in preparation for beaming down onto the planet, Commander?' asked Jim pointedly, catching Spock's eye with a meaningful look. Spock paused, looked at Jim, and then turned away with a blank expression on his face, starting for the lift. 'Good,' mused Jim, settling back into the chair with a pleased look.

I looked at him, eyes narrows. 'Why _am _I here?'

'I'm grooming you,' said Jim, eyes never leaving the mess of people around us as they worked. He crossed his legs lazily, blue eyes twinkling merrily up at me.

'You're _grooming _me?' I snorted.

'Yep,' Jim said, tapping his fingers against the arm of the chair. 'I'm grooming you. You know _nothing _about this time period, nor life aboard a federation starship. Considering that you are now a _resident_ of a federation starship, I'm grooming you for _bigger _things. Do you catch my drift?' Blue eyes peered at me, and I blanched.

'Er-'

Jim snorted. 'Nothing _big _big. Red shirts, security, brawn over brain - that kinda thing-'

My voice was louder than it should have been as I caught onto _one _thing that he had said. I placed my hands firmly on my hips and, taken over by adrenaline that came with the prospect of doing something _exciting _aboard the _Enterprise, _I said, 'Are you calling me _stupid, _Captain?'

The effect would have been better if I was two inches taller and didn't have a freckled nose and red hair.

Jim punched my arm lightly, drawing his amused smile away from the man next to Chekov who had turned at my objection. 'Of course I'm not, Lillabelle. I'm merely stating that you aren't exactly Science Officer or Engineering material, you know? You're..._ballsy'._

'I'm ballsy'.

'Sure you are. And while you work in the kitchens, I can _groom _you for one of those _ballsy _jobs, can't I?'

I chewed on the side of my cheek and, with crossed arms, stated, 'It's a good thing you're hot, Kirk'. Jim just barked out a laugh at that, all straight teeth and suave mannerisms. 'So that's why I'm being called to the Bridge every time something _exciting _happens - because you want me to get used to this stuff?'

'Uh huh'.

'Surely that goes against some rules'.

'Probably,' mused Jim. 'Look around you. This is every day stuff for the Bridge. Beam a team onto a planet and check it out. You're not disrupting anything by being here, where's the harm in that?'

The woman, Uhura, disagreed with this statement. 'The times I have heard you say _that, _Captain,' she drawled, appearing behind the Captain's chair with long legs and almond eyes. I couldn't even be jealous of her sheer beauty, I _admired _it too much. 'I've intercepted a signal from a foreign ship. It's not close, but I presumed that you'd want to know. There's not telling yet what species inhabits it'.

Jim swung his head back to look up at her. 'You're giving Lillabelle here a bad impression of me, Lieutenant Uhura'.

'My impression of you has already been made, Jim. Don't worry,' I shot back, suddenly very aware of my plain shirt and trousers and Uhura's fitting and bright Starfleet regulation uniformed dress.

I felt like a very unspectacular potato in comparison.

'The signal, Captain?' Uhura pressed, turning away from me with a smile and glittering eyes. Okay, so apparently people either approved of my sarcasm or genuinely liked me in the future. This is good news.

'You said they're not close?'

'Yes, Captain'.

'It's likely just a roaming vessel. Warn any federation ships that might be in the area - they may not have caught wind of the vessel yet. Keep an ear open for any distress signals too'. Jim put a thumb to his mouth and chewed. 'A wandering vessel can either be good or bad news. If it's anything to do with this planet, they'll come and find us. Is it a battle ship?'

Uhura, already retreating, said, 'I can't tell, Captain'.

'Alright. Thank you, Lieutenant Uhura'. Jim cast a sideways glance to me, catching my bemused and baffled look. 'Pray it's not Klingons,' he said. 'Those are the _bad_ kind of aliens. _Hate _humans. Hate everyone, really'.

'Oh'.

'Mr Spock and his team have beamed down onto ze surface of ze planet, Keptin. Would you like me to open a transmission to the Commander?' Chekov asked, cutting across my uneasy expression.

'Yes. Thank you, Mr Chekov'.

Chekov nodded with an, 'Aye, Keptin', and his light fingers flew over the controls in front of him.

I blinked at Kirk as he fiddled with his chair buttons, and I could only assume that he was opening a transmission to Spock. 'Can I...?' I waved toward the window of the Bridge and Jim nodded shortly, waving at me to go.

'Spock?'

'Yes, Captain-' Spock's voice rang out, but nobody seemed to take much notice as himself and the Captain had a brief run down of what was to happen. I listened halfheartedly, making my unsure way to the front of the Bridge and lingering near the window. Some looked at me, I know they did. I knew they _would. _I was as foreign to them as they were to me. And to those who knew who I _really _was...

I was, I dunno, _fascinating_, I guess.

The planet was where I had last seen it; a dusty looking bloom of a dot suspended before us, curving around and looking perpetually dry. Not that I could really tell from this distance, though. It just _looked _like it would be dry. Jim had said that there wasn't a lot of water or plant life on it, proving my observations to be correct.

As I tapped my fingers against the glass and watched the planet, wondering if anything _did _inhabit it, I yawned widely, covering my mouth with my hand.

'Tired?' stated Jim sarcastically and I turned, while blinking away the tiredness, to find him hovering near Pavel and..._Sulu's _(finally, _that's _his name) station, throwing what looked to be a white ball between his hands._  
_

I nodded, rubbing my face. 'I think I've got 'time travel lag' or some shit'.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how I made Jim Kirk _properly _laugh. You'll find that the running theme is how many first things happen between the both of us, but this is one of my favorites. I think I'm good at making people laugh, mainly because I'm sarcastic and can take the piss out of myself on a regular basis, but making James laugh in that one moment was one of my favorite things. Because it was the first time of many.

Sure, I'd seen him chuckle and laugh from his throat, but never like that short burst of laughter right from the belly that had me blinking and swallowing and chuckling along nervously.

Sulu and Chekov laughed too, but their laughs weren't bursts of laughter, just huffs and chuckles, really. But to see him smile like that - with teeth and lips and eyes that looked away from the ball to meet mine - I'd felt like I'd accomplished something pretty damn good.

In that moment, I wanted nothing more than to make him _really _laugh. Not just a _laugh_, but watery eyed, belly straining laughter.

And I felt like such a moron for wanting something so silly.

'Captain!' Jim quickly turned and made for Uhura and, after a split second of not knowing whether to follow him, I moved hesitantly forward with him. 'Captain,' she repeated, leaning toward her station with furrowed brows. 'We've got an incoming transmission from Commander Spock'.

'Allow it,' said Jim, dropping into the chair and placing the white ball into his pocket. 'Lily, stay,' he said, as if sensing my edginess at being in the way of whatever was going on. I just felt _awkward - _just _standing_ there.

'_Captain_,' Spock said, his voice smooth as it came through the transmission. '_I believe you are going to want to see this_'.

A pause, and many of those working on the Bridge quietened down somewhat to listen, to pay attention. It was in _that _moment that I wondered if this is why they took these jobs in space, if this is why they _liked _being used to stars and planets and the queries of danger. Because, somehow, I was already a little bit in love with it.

'Put it on the screen,' ordered Kirk, sitting up straighter in his chair. It was odd, how he could become Captain in a split second, when before he was merely Jim Kirk. Then again, I hardly knew either of them at all.

For a moment, I was confused as to what screen he was referring to, but the glass at the head of the bridge quickly turned to a live feed of, what I guessed, was the Class M planet that Spock and his 'team' were on. The video was clear and projected easily onto the glass, and for a moment _that _was what impressed me so much.

But then I saw what Spock was referring to, and my jaw fell open with awe.

The transmission shook a little as what was being shown to us was fed from one of the seven people on the planet. It zoomed in, and then out, and then focused on a cavernous, swirling hole that dug deep into the ground. From what the transmission showed us, we couldn't even see the bottom of the descending hole, but I could only imagine that it went very, very deep.

_'I believe, Captain, that this structure is man made'._

Kirk leaned forward. 'No shit...,' he breathed. Okay, so _I _wasn't the only one who hadn't seen something like this before. Good. I mean, the structure was _obviously _'man' made. The swirls went round and round and round, going lower and lower as the circular walls came further and further inward. 'Commander Spock, is this all you have found?'

_'No, Captain. Myself and the team of six have also found various signs of rubble, suggesting that, indeed, there was once a community that did live on the surface of this planet. Judging from the materials used, it suggests that the inhabitants were not foreign to the idea of sufficient tools to build'._ A pause.

Kirk pulled his thumb away from his mouth. 'Spock, I want you to send me any pictures that you can, alright?'

'Yes, Captain'.

And with that, the line went dead.

'Chekov, open up a ship wide transmission,' ordered Jim. 'Lily, I want you to go-'

'Wait, wait, wait,' I said, trying not to seem like I was overstepping my boundaries. 'I just - okay. That hole thingy, it was supposedly newer than that rubble, right?'

Kirk waved a hand to Chekov, motioning for him to stop the ship wide transmission. Jim honestly looked like he _wanted _me to say the right thing. 'Go on'.

'Well then, _obviously _something is down there, that's not really debatable. But...' I waved my hands about, struggling for the words. 'Well, doesn't it seem like that's kind of a hard entrance to get_-'_

'-_Out of,' _said Jim, practically pirouetting from the Captain's chair. 'Lily, I _knew _you were _Enterprise _material. Whatever's down there wa_s put _down there and although you can _get in, _it's pretty hard to _get out'._

'It's a prison, isn't it?'

'But doesn't that suggest something _dangerous _is down there, Captain?' asked Sulu. I looked to him, my cheeks _glowing _with pride at getting something _right. _He was testing me. Jim was _testing _me.

'That is does, Mr Sulu,' said Jim brightly. 'That it does. Lieutenant Marcus?'

'Yes, Captain?' It was a blonde woman with a bright, kind face. Her English accent was much, _much _thicker than mine and, for a moment, the sound of it was thankfully familiar.

'How are those samples that I brought back earlier coming along?' By this point, I was already deciding that my time one the Bridge was done. I'd proved myself, I'd learnt enough, I was tired. I caught Jim's eye on the way out, and he gave me a quick, approving nod.

* * *

I was crying again.

Pathetic, really. I was crying because of guilt. I was crying because I was having fun when I should be mourning, I should be desperately trying to get home. I'd been here for mere days and I was already trying so hard to move on and to make friends and to gain something aboard this ship that was beyond standing at the side being the girl from the past.

It didn't help that Jim's voice echoed around the ship, retelling events that I already knew.

I just kept thinking about _here._ Here I could do something spectacular. Something that most likely went against many of the Starfleet rules (I was pretty sure you had to go to the Starfleet _school, _but the way Jim said it, I'd be getting one of the easier jobs that required skills that I already had).

Here, I could _matter._

It was with this puffy, pink, wet face that I answered the door to when Doctor Jommin came knocking. She didn't really say anything, she just nodded knowingly and brought me into a quick, awkward hug with an, 'Oh, Lillabelle'. She sat me on the bed and made me tell her what was wrong, and after that I cried _more _because, Jesus, I had a therapist again.

'It is understandable,' she kept telling me. 'Perfectly understandable. You're without anyone that you once knew and you feel guilty for trying to find something new, when the old is so recent and so close to your memory. But it's _okay _to want to build a life here, okay?'

I just nodded and wiped away the tears, telling her that she was a swell Doctor.

'Look,' she said, bringing a satchel onto her lap. 'I have a friend in security who said that she met you - Sammander? Yes, her. I haven't told her about you, don't worry. She said that she helped someone out - a girl - because she hadn't yet received her Communicator or PADD. Once I figured out it was you, I went to security and grabbed them for you'.

And she handed them to me. The sleek, square PADD and the flip-phone Communicator.

'Thank you _so_ much-'

'You're my friend, Lillabelle. These talks that we have are as _friends. _You are not my patient, I am not your Doctor. I am doing this because I am your _friend _and you can rely on me, yes?'

That was good. That was better. I didn't want a therapist again, I didn't want to be that girl again. I could ignore the tugging sadness - here, it would get better.

'Yeah,' I said, staring at the PADD. 'Yeah, alright'.

* * *

**Just in case anyone was wondering, the planet in this story line is made up. I made them up. They shouldn't be in the Star Trek universe. Now I'm paranoid that there is something like it, but if there is, I seriously don't know about it.**

**Anyway, the reviews, the follows! They're all awesome, thank you!**


	6. I Caught Him Looking

'Your tears are brought on by your guilt. Your guilt is brought on by the fact that you like it here. You like it here because it's something different from what you used to know. It's something exciting and new'.

I leaned back on my bed, back pressed against the wall. My eyes still felt watery, and perhaps that was because I was talking about something buried beneath the surface. 'Spot on, Jommin,' I said, a snarky hint to my voice. This is what happened to me when presented with an opportunity to _talk _about my feelings. Like with most cliches, my walls came back up and I used sarcasm and humor as bricks.

'Lily, _please_,' sighed Jommin, crossing her legs as she sat on the other side of the bed. 'Talk to me. You were fine doing so before'.

'You caught me by surprise,' I said, tucking my chin on top of my knees. 'Okay, _okay,' _I added hastily, catching her look. It wasn't that she looked frustrated, it was that she looked _disappointed. _'Look, I wasn't _outrageously _happy back home, okay? From what I've seen and heard, things on Earth are a little better than they were when I lived there. The chanced of me ever getting a well paid job the moment I left Uni were nil, and the chances of me ever owning a house outright were even worse'.

I closed my mouth, wondering how to explain this to someone who I hardly knew.

'There wasn't a lot of _hope _for someone with an average amount of money and an average amount of intelligence. Sure, I _would _get a job, but it wouldn't be something that I liked,' I shrugged, lowering my gaze as I pondered how to explain. 'I mean...you go from school to getting a job and it's all so...structured, you know? Nothing's new or exciting. I don't - _didn't _have enough money to even _hope _to go travelling or move abroad or anything like that'.

'You were not...satisfied with the way your life was heading?'

I nodded. 'Yeah. That's the word. _Unsatisfied. _I mean, I did everything because, in the end, I would come out better off. I could get an alright job from University, but it was all so...bland. This, though-' I cut myself off, shaking my head. 'This is pretty fuckin' colorful compared to my life back in England. I've been here for - what? Two days?'

Jommin cast a small smile my way. 'And you already love it'.

'And I _already_ love it,' I confirmed bitterly. 'Everyone I know is dead, and all I can think about it how amazing this future is. I mean, I just saw an _alien planet. _I have a job, according to Jim. I'm being given all of these opportunities, and it's only because I'm from the past and I have nowhere else to go'.

Jommin gave me a shrewd look. 'I highly doubt that is the only reason that Captain Kirk is allowing you these 'opportunities' that you speak of, Lily. Perhaps he sees something in you that is _USS Enterprise _material'.

'But you're all _geniuses. _I'm not'.

'You don't seem to be the kind of person who would measure intelligence by how well you do in somewhere like Starfleet Academy,' pointed out Jommin, eyebrow cocked. 'I think you're very emotionally intelligent for someone of your age. You think about things, you word your feelings carefully'.

I smiled sheepishly, touched by the observation. 'Oh. Thank you'.

Jommin smiled and leaned her head against the wall, eyes never leaving me. 'Talk to me about your family'.

Ah, touchy subject. I grimaced, thinking of the family I would never see again. 'Look, I had a nice family, you know? My parents didn't drink, didn't smoke, didn't deal drugs or anything like that. We had enough money to live normally - not too much, nor too little'.

'But?'

I shrugged. 'No buts. Every family has something that they dislike about one another'.

'_But?'_

I sighed. '...I never really had a good relationship with my dad, I guess. Didn't talk to him much, despite living in the same house with him. I used to when I was little, but when I hit my teens and got a job, it was an opportunity for him to _finally _do what he wanted in life. You know, go on holidays with some of his friends from work, spend weekends away with my mum. They didn't, like, leave me to live on my _own_ or anything,' I added hastily. 'They just wanted an independent daughter, and that's what they got. In the end, I argued with him more than I _spoke_ to him'.

'Do you miss your dad?'

I nodded, brow furrowed. 'Of _course_ I do, yeah. I mean, I loved him, but sometimes...sometimes I didn't really _like _him. He was quite...controlling with money and stuff. Always checked my mums bank and got angry when she spent too much money. The thing was, it was perfectly okay for him to spend money on things that _he _wanted, though'.

A pause.

'He'd shout a lot. I don't like it when people shout at me'.

Jommin nodded, eyes glinting in the dim light. 'Thank you for sharing that with me, Lily,' she said quietly. 'You realize that you can trust me with these things, and talk to me _whenever _you want'.

And that was that, a change so instant that it had me blinking for a second. But, from what I knew of Jommin, she liked to change the subject quickly. She liked to explore different parts of the conversation, to get a point across, then another, then another. Perhaps she could see that I had said all that needed to be said, or perhaps she just thought a change of subject was needed.

I swallowed, all awkward once again. 'Cheers, Jommin. I just feel like I'm, I dunno, _going on _about myself'. Jommin just shook her head, scoffing. 'I know. Same goes for you, you know. I'm a good listener and, apparently, _emotionally intelligent. _I'm all ears for anything you might want to talk about'.

Jommin paused, and I realized that she _was _actually going to tell me something.

'Sammander...is my girlfriend,' she said, and there was _something _in her tone that was guarded, apprehensive. 'I realize that I am older than her by seven years - she is twenty, I am twenty seven - but we have been together for a year already-'

'Jommin, man!' I laughed, sitting up. 'That's good. _Fine. _I don't, like, _care-'_

Jommin bit at her lip. 'I don't wish to offend you, but I was not sure...how the subject of homosexuality was handled in 2013, you see. I understand that 'homophobia' was still very present. I wasn't sure how you would take this news, therefore I thought it best to tell you now, rather than for you to find out and not take it so...pleasantly'.

'You don't have to worry about that with me,' I assured her, sitting up some more, eager to let her know that it didn't phase me. 'I'm the most accepting person you'll meet. Seriously'.

Jommin sighed, looking quite relieved. 'That's good. I was worried'.

'I was around in the time that laws were starting to be passed about same-sex marriage. I'm guessing that they got passed, huh?' It was things like this that made me realize just _how much _had changed. Some things, apparently, for the better. Laws changed, worlds changed - and all of them to the liking of my own beliefs, my own ideas and hopes for the world.

Yet another reason why the future seemed so much _better._

And there was that guilt, yet again.

'Yes,' said Jommin, tucking her dark hair behind her ear. 'It is so...odd, to think of a world where these things were not simply accepted. If you don't mind me saying'.

I waved a hand while sliding off of the bed. 'I don't mind, don't worry'. I made my way to the bathroom, scrubbing my face clean of sticky tears for the second time. As I did this, I called over to Jommin, 'Jommin, where do I...eat? Do I go to the food hall?'

There was the sound of the bed creaking as weight shifted, and then Jommin was at the bathroom doorway as I patted away the wetness of my face with a towel. 'Yes. You an go there any times between 1700 and 1900 hours'.

'Five and seven. Right'.

There was a pause in which Jommin studied me with her wide eyed gaze, but then the eyes narrowed. 'You failed to mention to me that you suffered from brief depression in your younger teenage years. Did you take any medication for this?'

I blanched and stammered. Perhaps, yes, I _should _have told her. 'I-I came off the medication two years ago. I didn't think that it would affect your psychological evaluation or whatever. I'm sorry-' I came to a halt. 'How did you _know?'_

Jommin shook her head. 'Don't apologize. It wouldn't have been something that you would want to tell a complete stranger, and I am sorry to have forced it out of you now. In answer to your question, I think we can both summarize that I am _very _good at what I do, Lily. I can read you like a book, and anyone else for that matter. Most of the time, for the sake of peoples privacy, I try not to'.

I didn't have an answer to that, so I just stood there awkwardly.

'I would like you to tell me about it,' she requested. 'Did you see someone then?'

I ducked my head and moved past her, flattening my back against the frame of the door. 'If you mean someone like you, then yes. But only for four months. I didn't like talking to someone about my 'feelings', honestly. Things change, apparently,' I scoffed, falling onto my bed and grabbing at the PADD. I just fiddled with it, not knowing why I'd grabbed it in the first place. 'I started taking anti-depressants when I was fifteen and stopped when I was seventeen. My mum wanted me to keep seeing someone, but I preferred her help rather than a strangers'.

'Did she give you this help?' asked Jommin, turning toward me.

I nodded firmly. 'Of course. What I said before still counts, you know. My parents didn't abuse me or neglect me - we just had a vague relationship, more with my father, than anything. I would argue with my mum, but I was still quite close to her. She helped me a lot, hence why I eventually came off the tablets'. I looked up at Jommin. 'Why do you want to _know _all of this?'

'Because I am interested,' she said simply. 'Because you haven't told anyone in a long time'.

'What about you?' I challenged, crossing my legs. 'What about your relationship with your parents, what was that like?' Jommin gave a bland little smile. 'Works both ways'.

'I grew up in the City with my mother and father. They too were into psychology, which is where I learned many of their tricks and such. It possibly why it was very difficult to lie to them growing up. But they loved me and I loved them. My father died a year and a half ago, and my mother often calls me. She both looks and sounds well and happy'. Jommin tilted her head. 'Are you content?'

'I'm sorry about your dad'.

Jommin gave me the saddest smile and said a sentence that I appreciated more then anything else she had done for me or said to me. 'And I am sorry about your parents, Lily. I am sorry for _everyone_ that you have lost'.

'Thank you,' I replied quietly. I thought for a moment. 'You-you know, I didn't have any siblings, but I had this cousin. She was my mums sisters daughter. Her name was Jade and, funnily enough, she _really _reminds me of Sammander. Like, creepily'.

Jommin snorted and smiled, eyes lighting up. 'So she was loud, happy and painfully sarcastic?'

I paused. 'Pretty much'.

_Was._

'I need to be getting back to my shift, but-'

_'Adams? Get your ass to the Bridge. ASAP'. _It was Kirk's voice that cut through Jommin's speech, though not from the screen on my wall, but from the Communicator that she had given me earlier.

'I'll leave you,' she said, smiling and retreating out of the doorway with a small wave. I felt as if I should have thanked her for all that she had done, but the door slid shut before I could open my mouth. With pursed lips, I picked up the Communicator and, awkwardly, flipped it open.

'A _please _wouldn't go amiss, _Kirk'._

I flipped the phone shut quickly and shoved it into pocket. As I left the room, I felt as if a weight had been lifted from my shoulders, as if I had finally _vented _to someone in a calm and collected manner. I had found a friend in Jommin that I hadn't found in anyone else; someone who was willing to listen. She took notice of my situation and ignored the 'amazement' of it and instead focused on how it could affect me.

That sounded a little like I want to play the victim, but it was _nice _to have someone to talk to.

I now knew my way expertly to the Bridge from my room, so when I entered through the double sliding doors I was neither flustered nor smiling sheepishly. Hardly anyone even glanced my way.

'Jim?' I inquired, standing behind him with my arms clung to my sides.

Jim stood quickly from his chair. 'We made contact,' he said simply, stepping forward with his arms crossed behind his back. He stared at the sandy planet, serious. 'Didn't go as planned'.

'What happened?'

Jim sighed and bit at his thumb. 'Five of the team beamed back with Spock. One of the others, a women, is down in that pit. She was_, _according to Spock, forced to climb down there-'

'What are you doing telling _me _this?' I demanded, standing up beside him. '_I _can't do anything-'

'Actually,' stated Jim. 'You can. The species that ambushed Spock and his team were men, humanoids. Not hostile or violent. The moment they saw Ensign Dar, they freaked and demanded that she climb down that hole and that the others _leave._ They're smart, but they wear animal fur, have crude weapons-'

'You still haven't-'

'They threw _that_ woman down that hole, but left the other,' repeated Kirk, turning to me with an angry look in his eye. 'The woman, Ensign Dar, has red hair. When the humanoids freaked out, it was because of the _red hair. _They wouldn't let anyone near her, wouldn't even allow themselves to touch her. Only wanted her to get into that hole'.

Ah.

I see.

'There must be _dozens_ of women on this ship with red-'

'Yeah,' said Jim. 'But none of them are humans. _Not one__._ How do you think a _humanoid_ species that has never been introduced to anything alien would react to an...an _alien. _God,' he rubbed at his face and screwed his blue eyes shut. 'This is so _stupid. _You're not trained, you've never even had a course in basic hand to hand-'

'I do archery. And I used to box,' I defended, though I'm not sure why. I didn't _want _to go onto a planet that kidnapped gingers. _You wanted to do something that mattered. This is it. _'I'm not a member of Starfleet,' I insisted weakly, more to myself than anyone else. Jesus, I wasn't _brave. _If a shitty situation could be avoided, I would _avoid _it.

'If anything,' said a voice from behind us. 'I believe that this will benefit you greatly, Miss Adams'. When Jim saw Spock standing behind us, he started for the Commander, but Spock said a calm, 'I am well, Captain. As I was saying, I believe that your lack of knowledge will aid you in a more authentic approach to the alien species. Although they are fairly primitive, Captain, they appeared to dislike our uniforms and our weapons'.

I threw my hands into the air. 'You're meant to be the _logical _one!'

Spock inclined his head. 'They seemed intent upon the safety of Ensign Dar, however they dismissed the existence of Ensign Farchid. I have come to the conclusion that it is their worship of women that brought on this action, but also their worship of, for some reason, red hair. They appeared to argue over also forcing Ensign Farchid down the hole, but decided against it. They speak basic, Earth English, Captain'.

'And being ginger used to be a _bad_ thing,' I muttered rubbing at my forehead.

'I need my crew member back,' said Jim, bowing his head to look at me. His eyes pleaded. 'They _won't _hurt you. I know they won't. They've showed already that they don't want to harm anyone. We'll send down a team to hide and watch over you while you approach the hole, and the _Enterprise _will be ready to beam you up. I wouldn't do this unless I was _sure'._

'It is only when you are beneath the surface of the planet that we will not be able to beam you back aboard,' added Spock.

Kirk glared at him.

I turned to Spock. 'Do you agree with this? Do you _honestly _think that this is a good idea - that it will work?' I could see certain members of the Bridge looking, waiting.

Spock, in turn, looked over my shoulder to Jim, then back to me. '...The mission has its obvious faults, but it is the best chance that we have at not only gathering information on this species, but on ensuring the rescue of Ensign Dar'. He paused. 'There is an eighty-two percent chance of the succession of this mission'.

But not a hundred. Not a _guarantee. _I chewed at my lip, really _thinking _about what this would entail. Was this life aboard the _Enterprise_? Risking you life and doing dangerous things for the _good _of others.

'You're not an official member of Starfleet,' Jim said, laying a hand on my shoulder. 'We're breaking no rules here. Spock has even confirmed that, and trust me, he _knows _the rules'. Amused eyes flicked up the Vulcan, of whom remained immobile. 'Even if I did ask you to do it, I can't _order_ you because, obviously, I'm not your Captain'._  
_

There was that lilt in his voice, a kind of hint that I would be doing this of my _own _accord, that he couldn't get into trouble in this, that they had thought of all of the loopholes.

'But I won't let you get hurt. I _won't_,' carried on Jim, voice lowering to a reassuring softness. 'I look after my crew and my _friends, _Lily. You don't _have _to do this. You can walk away and no one will blame you'.

But I would be a coward. I would be walking away from something so important, something that had been given to _me. _I had done nothing extraordinary in my life, nothing that would leave a mark in the world. But then again, nor would this.

Oh, screw it.

'_Fine'. _I pointed a finger at Kirk. 'I swear to God, if I die, Jim, I'm haunting the shit out of you'.

Kirk considered me. 'Deal. We just gotta go through some of the rules first. You may not be a member of Starfleet, but that doesn't mean I don't want you messing with the progress of this species'.

'The Prime Directive,' explained Spock, as if reading from a book. 'Dictates that there can be no interference with the internal development of alien civilizations. Precisely why it is recommended that you, with your inferior knowledge of modern technology, make contact with the alien species'.

_Inferior knowledge._

The heck had I gotten myself into?

I gave Jim a tight lipped smile and turned to the right with a sigh, not quite believing what I had just agreed to. I was a time travelling woman who, apparently, had landed on a spaceship to only help their sorry asses. It wasn't _dangerous, _though. Spock himself had stated that the _aliens _hadn't wanted to harm anyone.

Jesus, I was going to go onto an alien planet.

I sucked in a breath, gnawing at the side of my mouth.

When I turned, I saw him looking. I'm not one to get all pleased at catching a guy looking at me, especially one in which I, I will admit, harbored a very vague and almost crush on. He was looking at me as Spock spoke to him, head half angled toward me as he nodded with his arms crossed and his blue, _cerulean _eyes flickering upward. To me. He'd been looking at me mere seconds ago, but this was different. He looked content and proud, all directed at me.

I didn't blush, I just blinked at him. His mouth tugged into a half smile as he bowed his head, smiling at something secret. He angled his body toward Spock once again, smile vanishing as if the moment had never happened. As if he had never been watching me as my mind whirred with worries and nervousness.

He'd just been looking at_ me_ with this calculating, studying expression on his face.

Somehow, I quite like that he was trying to figure me out.

* * *

**Thank you for the reviews and follows!**

**Lily is a character that I have always wanted to write, but have never had the guts to. I wanted her to be realistic, or _my _kind of realistic. She's far from perfect, she's had a troubled past that wasn't the cause of something traumatic happening. I think that's what's so realistic. Her depression wasn't brought on by something; it can come out of nowhere. And that's a big part of her character: her past relationships, her depression, her sometimes pessimistic attitude. She's the young person of the 'modern' day. **


	7. He Made Me Brave

I've only ever been really, really scared twice in my life, I think. The first time was when I was about to receive my GCSE results which would, in turn, determine whether or not I would get into Sixth Form. A teacher at school, one year before, had told me that I shouldn't bother applying, considering the fact that it would be unlikely that I would get in. In response to this prophecy, I decided to work my butt off and ended up getting three A's, five B's, one C and one D. _  
_

The D was in German. I tend to ignore its existence. In the end, I easily got into Sixth Form.

The second time was when Jade, my cousin, got hit by a car. At the time it had seemed like the scariest thing I had ever seen, the way it hit her and then, suddenly, she was on the ground. Turns out she didn't even break one bone, but it had still scared the shit out of me, especially when the hit had knocked her unconscious. The idea of her not waking up, no matter how hard I shook her, was bloody awful.

When I think about those times and the two different kinds of fears that went with them, I think that the fear I was experiencing before being beamed down onto the planets surface was something like terrified excitement.

'Don't say anything about time travel - that'll just freak them out'.

'Well, _duh_'.

'Make sure you hold your hands up when you approach them, make you seem as nonthreatening as possible. And - look, c'mere, We need to work on this hair,' muttered Jim, reaching forward to muss up my _already _messy hair. The red shirts standing beside me on the...beaming deck? Yeah. That. They just scoffed into their hands and tried to hide their smiles as I smacked away Jim's hand.

'Won't be able to do that when I'm your Captain,' he grinned, stepping back from me as I stood on the circular beaming deck. I was quite terrified about this whole 'beaming' business. I mean...would it hurt? Would it feel weird at all? 'You got your Communicator on you?'

I nodded, touching the bulge in my trouser pocket which was my Communicator. Over my black shirt I wore a green, cameo style jacket. 'Okay,' I sighed. 'Ready?'

'Ready,' confirmed Kirk. He then nodded to my pocket. 'You talk into that and the Bridge will talk right back, alright? Good luck'. I glanced to the red shirted trio behind me, smothering a grin as Sammander, in all her excitement, rose her eyebrows at me while jumping from foot to foot. _It's safe, _I reminded myself. _Jim even said this is a safe mission compared to what they're used to._

Just find the girl, and get out of there.

Somehow.

'Energize,' I croaked out, and the man behind the desk glanced up as the swirls surrounded and Kirk looked on, arms crossed at his chest and mouth set into a determined line. I felt something peculiar, like a cold tugging at my elbow, but by that point I was already breathing in the hot, dusty air of the alien planet and gazing out to a sandy, rocky expanse in front of me.

'Holy _shit'._

Thankfully, the others did not hear me. Sammander was already questioning the one other girl named Farchid about where the 'hole' was located. The other was a man, in his thirties, named Torte.

'East,' replied Farchid, hardly looking very pleased at being back here. She pointed. 'That way, about a mile or so. I don't recommend us getting too close to there with you, Adams,' she said, now looking at me. I realized that she had been the woman they had rejected, instead taking Dar. 'But we should go around half a mile with you, from then on it's just straight ahead'.

I just nodded, jaw a little slack as I stumbled into a walk to follow them. There was no sign of water or any clouds in the sky that signified any coming rain. As I looked to the sky, I thought about how, minutes ago, I had been up there on a hidden spaceship. _Minutes. _How could that even..._begin _to be possible? And now...I was on an alien planet. Foreign soil.

But it had been lovely to breath _fresh air, _no matter how warm it was. Still, I envied Sammander and Farchid and their red dresses, while Torte and I were left in our trousers and shirts. On the other hand, I was grateful for the covered skin. If this species really did worship women, then I wanted as much skin covered as possible.

_'Kirk to Adams'._

Grabbing at the Communicator, I spoke into with an awed, 'Jim', as the team around me pulled out there phasers and kept a close eye on the rocky hills around us.

'_You feeling okay? Your heart rate's gone up-'_

I looked hastily away from the curious glances that Sammander, Torte and Farchid sent me, instead muttering a form, 'I'm _fine, _Jim'.

Jim merely laughed. Was he taking this seriously _at all? _'_You're getting close to the foundation. Farchid, Deva, Torte - the three of you hide around those hills. Adams, you keep on going by yourself. The hole is just over half a mile from where you are now. Got that?'_

'Yes, Captain,' replied the three in red. Sam was the only one to give me a solid, 'good luck' nod before starting off to the left with Torte, while Farchid went to the left.

'_Remember that we're ready to beam you up when you need it. The moment you get Dar, you get outta there. Farchid should be sorting out an escape route for you while you're down that hole'_. Jim paused, and I could hear the buzz of the Bridge around him. '_We've got your heart rate hooked up here, remember? We'll know if you're in trouble, even if you can't tell us'._

'Alright,' I replied, continuing my walk along the dry dirt and sand. 'Thank you, Jim'.

'_Okay. Kirk out'._

I tucked the Communicator back into my pocket and glanced up at the clear, blue sky. The sun was bigger here, compared to how it look on Earth. Like it was closer and, considering the heat and lack of moisture, it most likely was. It was hard to comprehend that the planet I had been staring at so avidly at earlier was the one in which I stood firmly upon now.

I could see, though, what rubble Spock had been referring to. Smooth edges of stone stuck out of the earth, some of the carvings worn away with what appeared to be age. At one point, I saw the face of a woman peeking through the sand, her stone nose completely eroded away, but her stone eyes so vastly detailed and _staring _that I had hurried in my steps.

'_Stop_'.

I froze, my heart jumping into my throat as the rough, deep voice cut through the utter silence of the rocky view. I inclined my head to the left and saw, walking out from behind a rock, a man. As Spock had said, he wore thin furs and I had wondered how on Earth he had managed to skin any animals. There _weren't _any to skin.

Out from behind him, two other men came and, like him, they had dark hair, dark eyes and tanned, rough looking skin. They were all the same height, the same build and wore the same types of clothing.

They weren't men, though. They were aliens who _looked _like men. Like Spock, except without the pointy ears and funky eyebrows. They could _easily _pass for humans.

I clenched my fist and tried desperately to slow my beating heart, as not to alarm the _Enterprise. _'My name is Lillabelle,' I told the man who had addressed me, my voice far less brave than I had wanted it to be. I tried again, voice louder. 'Who are you?'

The man came no closer to me, his dark eyes trailing up to my hair with shock and surprise. 'Another,' he said. 'Brothers, _another'. _He pointed to me with a dirty finger and his friends blinked and stepped beside him, but came no further than that. 'Lady,' said the man. 'I am Bron. You have been sent and we will receive. Climb away from the Sun and into the shadow'.

I froze, unsure whether to actually _do _as they had asked.

I stepped forward, opening my mouth to speak but the men practically threw themselves backwards away from me, eyes wider than before and hands retracting to their chests. Jim would would want to know _why_ they reacted this way. 'Why won't you let me touch you?' I demanded, stopping still.

Bron, with a heavily furrowed brow, replied, 'We are not worthy, Lady. We hunt, we watch, we wait. We do not touch the Lady with the fire in her hair. Too few of them for me to dirty them with my tainted hands'.

I stared.

'Climb,' he said, yet again.

'Climb,' agreed one of the others. 'Down the Shadow Hole. Go. You should not be in the sun for so long, Lady. It might hurt you'.

_Oh, Jesus. Just go, go, go, go, go. _I went the way that they had pointed and, within seconds, I was stopping short to look once again upon the twisting and twirling hole in the ground. This time, it wasn't on a screen on the _Enterprise_. If I had not known it was there, I would have probably walked straight off of the edge and tumbled down the spiraling steps. I lent over, carefully, and spied out the hole at the bottom.

Darkness.

Looking over my shoulder, I saw that the three men had already retreated back into the rocky hills around the hole, far away from _me. _Spock had been right, anyway. They did see red heads as something to worship and to not taint. _Fire in my hair. _Fire. Perhaps...it had something to do with the heart of the planet?

It took me five minutes to get myself over the edge and onto the pathway of a swirl. By the time I landed after that three foot drop, my clothes were dusty, dirty and sticking to me with sweat. The 'staircase' was narrow and descending down and around the vast chasm, made entirely of a dry, chipped rock that seemed the colour of the sunset.

Coughing, I uneasily started my way down while whipping out the Communicator. I wouldn't know when I could talk to the _Enterprise _next, and considering I was alone, this seemed like the best time. I flipped it open, gnawing at my lip as I considered how to actually _contact_ someone. The times I had used it, it had always been in _reply._

'Um, Adams to _Enterprise?'_

There was a only a brief pause, and then Kirk's voice was blurting out of the thing. It was a comfort, to hear something other than silence and alien voices. _'Lily? What's happening?'_

'I'm going down the hole now,' I replied, uneasy. 'There were three men at the top. Wouldn't touch me, wouldn't come anywhere near me. It _is _to do with my hair; they said something about it having _fire _in it. Considering the heat of the planet, I'm gonna assume it has something to do with that'. I looked down uneasily, sticking close to the wall. 'Oh, _God. _Long drop down'.

I held the Communicator closer to my face, scared of dropping it. '_How far down are you?'_

'Not half way yet. Jim..they called it the _Shadow Hole. _But...why would they shove me down here if they love - hypothetically speaking - sun and heat and all that so much?'

_'That's what you gotta find out-'_

'Jim'. My voice was a terrified whisper, stopping all noise coming from the Communicator. I stopped walking, stood still and pressed myself against the wall, my head uneasily poking out. Down below, another whining, retching moan came from below. 'Please tell me you heard that,' I piped up nervously.

_'Oh, we heard it-'_

_'Miss Adams, what do you see?'_ Spock.

I looked down, seeing nothing, but then, out of the hole, there came a slow shadow with arms, legs and what looked like a human torso. It crawled out of the narrow, dark hole, sliding along its belly before, quite suddenly, jerking its head upward and letting out another, drawn out sound. When its head had flipped back, I had seen red, long hair.

'A thing. It's seen me,' I stuttered out. 'Came out of the hole at the bottom. Red hair. Looks human. Doesn't _sound_ human. _Aaaand _it's coming up - _crawling. _Nope, now it's on its feet. Shit, I can't see it anymore. It had red hair. Maybe- maybe these are things that the guys up top _worship-' _I spouted out as much information as I could.

'_Lily-'_

'I don't have a lot of time. It's _real _close. James Kirk, if I die, I am haunting the _hell _out of you'.

With that, I snapped the communicator shut and shoved it into my pocket and took a shaky, awkward step forward. My hands were shaking almost painfully, my heart hammering in my chest. The _noise _that it had made - Christ. _Act natural. _And I did, I walked as slowly as I could as the sound of that _thing _came closer and closer until, finally, it drew up on the same level as me.

Be brave.

Jim's counting on you. Jim, who is giving you so many chances to be something other than a normal woman trapped in the future. You could save a life, come back smiling and proud of yourself. And Jim, he could be proud of you too. He could look at you like he had before, don't you want that? Wouldn't that be amazing?

It wouldn't be the first time that James Kirk had made me brave.

It looked human - definitely male. It stood away from me, all broad shoulders, shoulder length red hair and bright, green eyes. I mean _nuclear _green, set above various patterns that seemed to indent into the very skin of him, going along his freakishly prominent cheek bones. He wore, what appeared to be, a loin cloth, covering only a small amount of the tanned, sinewy skin.

'Hello,' I greeted, voice cracking as I avoided those terrifying eyes.

He tilted his head and took a step forward on bare feet. He was much taller than myself, much _bigger. '_You came,' he said, in a voice that was both deep, throaty and so much less frightening than that retching moan from before. There was an accent too. Exotic. Lilting. '_He_ sent you. Another. You are a gift'.

A pause. '..._Yes,' _I agreed.

'Do you have a name, _Aklafeesa?' _He walked toward me now, apparently less troubled with the 'do not come too close' rule.

'Lillabelle,' I choked out, trying not to cringe away from him. _Gain his trust. Find the woman. _'What's an-'

'_Aklafeesa? _No, no. I forget. You do not speak the common tongue of Lorik. You were just born, were you not?' He brought a hand forward, long fingered and delicate looking. 'Born from Sun and fire. _Aklafeesa _is you, and you are roaring flame, the bride of fire'.

'O-oh. Thank you'. His fingertips grazed the air around my cheek, never touching. _Play along. _'What's _your_ name?'

Green eyes flashed to mine, all steady, comforting and harsh at the same time. 'I have no name, _Aklafeesa. _I found you, you will name me when the time comes. Follow me, if you will, and I will show you the world that you have been born into'.

And, after a pause, I followed him.

* * *

He helped me down the hole, all lingering hands that never touched, pleasant smiles and strong, watchful eyes. The moment I dropped into the darkness beyond, a harsh, potent smell hit me. Although it was not terrible, I decided quickly that I did not like it.

The man led me through curving, stone passages that looked neither impressive nor exciting. The colors were warm and sandy, the temperature nearly too hot to bare. All the while, the man had walked beside me, never making a move to hurt me, nor saying anything. All the while, there was never any sign of anyone like him.

'Who were the men above the surface?'

'_Aklafeesa, _you have so much to learn. They are the _Lunikai_, the barbarians who live in the Sun. He punishes them with harsh heat, our Sun God, for breeding above the surface and for tainting our pure species with the blood of the _Lunikai_. To us, He gives shade. That is why He sends us you'. His hands ghosted my cheek. 'You are our gift. You hold the race strong'.

'My _sister_ came here too. Are you taking me to her now?'

He nodded and pushed forward, hand landing on a set of wooden doors that I hadn't seen. I hadn't seen the light seeping beneath the cracks in the door, but upon the man pulling them open, I saw what lay beyond.

Hundreds of holes had been put into the ceiling of the tall, wide room. Sunlight filtered through these, illuminating the people of whom milled around the room. They were all women - all of them dressed in white, thin dresses and their hair as red as mine. Some had the indents beneath their eyes, some did not, some looked entirely human. There were thirty of them, perhaps, all with _red hair._

Fifteen of them were pregnant.

'This is where you will stay,' explained the man. 'This is where the women stay, _Aklafeesa. _The rooms lead away, but your sister will show you that'. There were little girls, too. The cry of a baby in the distance. 'The Sun as our God has sent you to us, to bless our people with the good will of those with fire in their hair, to ensure the survival of our people. I will thank Him now, for bestowing us with such a beautiful Lorik Lady'.

And he left, drawing the doors closed behind him.

I stood there for a moment, mouth hanging open and watching the various ages of red haired women go about their daily business. Made to stay here, to wait for the men. And it _clicked_. Everything that he had said fell into place.

I fumbled for the Communicator, pressing it to my cheek as I ordered to be connected with the _Enterprise. _

'_Don't!' _

I looked up sharply, my arm bending around to hide the Communicator behind my back. The woman in front of me was in a white dress like the others, her hair a dimmer and darker red than mine and her eyes sharp, watchful.

'Some of the women are Lorik, and they're _loyal _to their _men. _If they see that, they'll snap it in half'. She looked at me with small eyes and chapped lips. 'You're that new girl. Lillabelle Adams. They sent _you_?'

_Ensign Dar._

'They needed a ginger,' I defended. 'Beggars can't be choosers'.

A shrewd smile found its way onto Dar's face. 'You got this far. Just talk to me, okay? They don't have any technology here, so they can't be bugging this conversation. Just pretend like we're having a normal chat, alright? Listen carefully. I've been here for hours, and I can already see that all of these women _want _to be here. Some of them were taken from the people above-'

'The-the _Lunikai. _That's what _he _called them-'

'Yeah, them. Some of them were _Lunikai _children. But, they had red hair, so these Lorik people took claim on them. I guess you've gathered the whole _the Sun blesses us with women who happen to have red hair, so we take them to keep our race pure,_ stuff?' I nodded. 'Bullshit, by the way. Lorik's have distinct face markings and green eyes - so you can tell who had a _Lunikai _mother from the fact that they'll _only _have the red hair'.

'This _is _a...a breeding-'

'Cage?' Dar snorted. '_Yeah. _Oh, bonus. The guy that found you? Yeah, he's gonna be your baby daddy. I don't know where all the men of these people are, but they worship these women and then sleep with them to keep the race going. I've been filled in _pretty _well by the women here. They love it. They're _Goddesses_. As long as they have red hair, they're a _gift from the Sun God'._

'We leave these women, then? Even though they're-'

Dar held up her hands. 'Starfleet doesn't interfere with the happenings of a species unless it's screwing around with the universe, remember? If this is their custom, then so be it. The _Enterprise _will study it and gain knowledge on it, but _we've _got a hunk of that knowledge. What we need to do now is get the hell outta here'. A pause, a shifty look. 'You see what the men are like?'

I frowned. 'He seemed almost reptilian for a moment, when he came out of the hole. This _sound-'_

'Aliens, sweetheart. They're stronger than the women too. Bigger. You're new to a federation ship, aren't you? Don't answer that - I don't wanna know. Look, the main thing is...did he touch you? Because if he touched you then your mind is already latching onto his'.

'What_? _No. _No. What?'_

'They're like Vulcans,' explained Dar, leaning away from me to smile at a woman who passed us, cradling her swollen belly. 'Except when they touch their 'mate' for the first time, the mate is latched to them in mind and in soul. That's what..._she_ said,' explained Dar, pointing at a woman who pulled a little girl closer to her. 'Once that's happened, your theirs and they are yours, and they can delve into your mind and you into theirs. And _that _will be a problem for you, wouldn't it? They _know _they took me, so it wouldn't matter if my guy molested my mind. But you? You're here to take one of their precious women'.

'He flirted with the idea of touching me,' I remembered. 'But he never did'.

Dar straightened up, not bothering to reply as she tugged on my wrist a little too harshly. '_Fuck_ it. Go. Push open the door. Contact the ship the _moment_ we get outta these doors. Run on three, yeah?

'Wait-'

_'One'._

'What?'

'_Two'._

'Oh, Christ'.

_'Three'._

* * *

**The Lorik are my creation. Any similarities to aliens that appeared in TOS are completely accidental. **

**Thank you for the reviews and follows! Tell me what you think, I'd love to know. **


	8. I Imagined Punching Him

'_ADAMS TO ENTERPRISE!'_

Dar grasped onto my arm and dragged me quickly, snapping out a breathless, 'Don't _shout, _idiot!' I ignored her, focusing on putting one foot in front of the other and holding the Communicator to my ear.

'_Lily?'_

'Got Dar,' I said breathlessly, hoping to _hell _that I had imagined that retching, groaning noise behind us. I could see the beam of light ahead that signaled the hole that we would need to climb out of. We were _so close, _and then we could get back to the _Enterprise _and they could survey this planet with a little more _care _and _knowledge._ 'Get ready to beam us up in-'

'Three minutes!' cut in Dara, snatching the Communicator from me. 'Captain, is there any way of us climbing _out_ of the structure?' Crap. The drop that I had clambered down would be _pretty _difficult to climb out of once we got to the top.

'Deva, Torte and Farchid are waiting up top for you. They've taken out the guards, Ensign,' replied Jim quickly.

'Noted. Dar out'. With that, she thrust the Communicator back into my hands and dropped into a kneel as we skidded to a halt beneath the hole in the ceiling. 'You go up then give me a lift up. They're coming. _Christ_'. Dar looked nervously behind me, eyes wide and chest rising and falling with rapid breaths. 'Quickly, Adams!'

I did as was told, hoisting a foot onto her clasped hands and, to my surprise, she took my weight without any groans or uneasiness. I clawed at the rim of the hole above us, finally latching onto it and bringing myself up with great effort. Dar lifted me the rest of the way and, finally, I found myself crawling rather messily up to the dusty air of Lorik.

'Dar!' I yelped, turning around and ducking my head into the hole. 'Grab my hand!' I could see shadows jumping at the end of the hall behind us, retching, angry noises cutting through the silence. 'They're coming!'

Dar was up far more quick than I, and she didn't even have anyone to push her up. She crawled up and landed on her behind, though not for long. Quickly, she jumped to her feet and yanked me to mine, pushing me forward into a run. 'Go, go, go'. We were not even on the first descent up before we heard the scrambling and the grunting of the Lorik's.

'Adams,' she said, breathless. 'Adams, _don't _let them touch you'.

'What if-?'

'Just don't!'

I turned once to see three of them, one of them being the male which had taken me into the darkness before. They looked angry as they crawled from their stomachs onto their feet, green eyes throbbing and red hair wild. They were feral now, and I could see how _his _white, straight teeth were now bared to us.

I tripped into a faster run after Dar, legs aching as we climbed and climbed. By the time we were half way up, the Lorik's were close on our tails and my lungs were burning with the force of my breaths and the upward climb. The closer we got to the top, the harder it was to balance along those narrow pathways while running and while _also _attempting not to fall to our deaths.

'Keep going,' muttered Dar, craning her neck to look behind us. 'Jesus, Jesus-'

'Dar!'

We looked up, still scraping quickly along the side of the massive hole. Above us, one head popped over the side of the rim. A man in his thirties with dark hair and a rope in his hand. Torte. He waved with his free hand, eyes darting to those that followed us with such intent. I couldn't be sure whether the Lorik would hurt us, or just haul us back into that hall with all the red-haired women.

Even if they knew that we were not sent from the 'Sun God', we were _still _women. Would their worshiping respect that fact, or did they only protect and worship the women who were _sent _to them.

By the time Dar and I reached the wall where Torte leaned over, he had already chucked the rope down. Dar, once again, made me go first. I grasped it and kicked myself up. The height was larger than that of the climb from the small hole to the surface. Without the rope or Torte, it would have been impossible.

But the Lorik's were tearing up to us, and I think that _fear _of what they could do to us made me crawl and scrape my way up onto the flat ground above. Torte quickly threw the rope back down, shouting for Dar, while Sammander yanked me by the collar of my jacket and pulled me to my feet, breathing heavily. 'Pretty good, Adams'.

I just grumbled a breathless reply.

'Dar!'

I could hear them, retching and groaning and _much closer. _I fell to my knees next to Torte, reaching down to help him grab at Dar, who was so unreachable. The Lorik's were right there, trying to hard to grab at her ankles. They were more animal that humanoid now, their hands looking like claws and their teeth seemingly so much more scary.

_'Because if he touched you then your mind is already latching onto his'._

'Don't let them touch her skin,' I gasped desperately to Torte, scrambling to grab at Dar. I had to do this, I had to save her. I couldn't fail, not when I had been so close.

Dar was grabbing the rope and dangling, trying to get at any hand that shot her way, offering her a safe lift. But, in that moment, I saw her slipping, I saw the hands below get closer and closer to her.

_You were supposed to save her._

'Dar-'

But she let out a sharp scream and her hand fell away from the rope and her back it the ground with a dull thud and her _eyes closed_. It took me a moment to understand, because it had all happened so quickly. But there, looking up at us, was one of the unnamed Loriks, his teeth bared and bloody and his green eyes looking at us with angry pleasure.

'He _bit _her,' breathed Torte.

'Why do you _want _her?' snapped Deva from behind me, and I could see Farchid with wide eyes and clenched fists standing behind her. 'Why did you _hurt _her?'

The Lorik with the bloody teeth spoke, while the others were carefully touching Dar. I could see that they only touched her clothed areas, much like how the Lorik who spoke to me before and led me down had never touched my skin. 'You are not sent from the _Sun,' _spat the Lorik. 'You are neither Lunikai or Lorik - what are _you?'_

None of us spoke.

'Then we will make _her _tell us,' it hissed out, all attractive, ethereal beauty gone. It was no longer he, it was _it. _

'Don't do this,' I said desperately. 'Give her to us and we will _leave-'_

'You have lied in the name of Him, and you will be punished,' it insisted, and then it spat up at us, Dar's blood hitting at our arms in small, hardly noticeable specks.

Torte jumped back. 'It can't get out,' I assured him quietly, feeling sick and guilty.

'But I can get in,' he replied roughly and suddenly, he was pushing me away from him and going to jump down the ledge, just as it seemed the Loriks were leaving with Dar's body. '_Stun _them, Deva!' He snapped. 'Cover me!' His boot scraped against the smoothness of the ledge, but he was trying to climb down _too _quickly. There was a reason the Lorik's could not get out, and why I had climbed so carefully down there earlier - because it was too high.

Deva looked to be yanking out her phaser while Torte, with an angry shout, leaned halfway down. But they were on him before Sammander could so much as cock her phaser to shoot. The one who had spoken to us hurtled around and let out a deep retch as he shot for Torte's dangling foot. Torte yelled and the Lorik grabbed at it.

But Farchid and I were yanking back Torte and pulling away the rope before they could so much as pull Torte their way. Torte scrambled back behind us and the Lorik grinned a mean, arrogant smile as it backed away, before breaking into a quick run after the two that carried the unconscious Dar away from us.

'Oh, _God,' _moaned Sammander, curling the arm that held the phaser around her waist and bringing the other hand up to her mouth. 'Dar. _Dar'. _Her voice was choked, and it was then that a realized these people _knew _each other. They worked with each other every day, Dar was their colleague, their friend.

We all paused there for a moment - Farchid hanging back, Sammander with her hand covering her mouth, myself not quite knowing what to do and Torte, his mouth shut tight, staring.

'Those fucking _savages,' _he bit out, climbing roughly to his feet. 'He _bit her-'_

'Elliot-' started Sammander desperately to him. 'Elliot, we'll go back to the _Enterprise _and the Captain _will _know what to do. Li- Adams has been inside, she can tell us so much, can't you?' I nodded. 'See. We- we just need to get back to the _Enterprise'._

Torte shook his head angrily. 'Did you hear what it said? _We'll make her tell us. _Christ, they're going to torture her, Deva!' He looked behind him, face stretched suddenly into a look of deep loathing. 'Where are those people - the ones we took down?'

'They snuck away,' replied Farchid quietly, also searching out what I presumed were the bodies of the Lunikai. 'They must have crept away while we weren't looking, Torte'.

Torte merely swore and kicked at the dirt.

The sickness that I had felt went into full pelt then, and my stomach clenched with what had happened and what _could _happen to the woman I had so _almost _rescued. Everything - _everything - _had gone so horribly wrong.

_'Enterprise to Adams, come in Adams'._

With stiff fingers, I had plucked the Communicator from my pocket and flipped it open with a fumbling grip. Sammander, thank God, reached down to snatch it from my grasp and spoke quickly into it, 'This is Ensign Sammander Deva. Beam us up _Enterprise_. There's...there's only four of us'.

And I was so selfishly relieved that I was getting away from this hell of a planet, the one I had been so fascinated with, so entranced. A small, horrible part of me knew that if I had been the one taken, I wouldn't have been able to survive it. And I _could_ have been taken, had Dar not consistently demanded that I go ahead of her.

Despite that I had been sent to rescue her, she had made sure that I, the less experienced one, would not have to face the Loriks.

It was with this thought on my worried mind that the _Enterprise _beamed us up. The four of us, each wearing a mask of sorrow and regret, appeared on the beaming deck, blinking away the harsh sunlight and looking into the fake, now welcoming artificial light source. It felt cleaner here, nicer. It was with this that I realized how the _Enterprise, _a spaceship so far from my real home, would now become my safe haven away from the unfamiliar of the outside world.

Inside these walls, I would be safe. It was, perhaps, only because I had been somewhere so _unsafe _that I came to this conclusion - because I _needed _somewhere I could consider 'safe'.

It was Leonard McCoy, or Bones, who hefted me to my feet. I blinked at him and straightened up, eyeing Dar as she approached the Captain who waited in front of our dispersing group. 'You alright, kid?' inquired Bones, Southern drawl climbing through my messy thoughts. I looked at him, opened my mouth, and then closed it quite suddenly.

'Fantastic,' muttered Bones, and then he was waving some blinking device in front of my eyes, telling me to look straight ahead. He then peered at it, brown eyes blinking. 'Good. Apart from an escalated heart beat and a need for some water, you're peachy good, Ensign'.

_Ensign._

I nodded and thanked him. Bones looked at me and nodded, muttering something under his breath as he approached the stern looking Torte. With nervous steps, I stepped off of the beaming deck and, upon meeting the eyes of James Kirk, we walked toward each other, his walk much brisker than my own.

'I thought you were dead,' he admitted, brows raising as he admitted this fact. 'When Ensign Deva answered your Communicator, I thought we'd lost you already, Adams'. His forehead was moist with sweat, and I could only assume how worried he had been for his crew.

I smiled wryly. 'Not yet, Captain'. My voice broke embarrassingly and obviously, making it quite hard for either of us to ignore it.

Jim clasped his hands behind his back and looked at me, tilting his head and chewing at the inside of his mouth. 'Ensign Deva told me what happened once you and Dar crawled out of that hole, but she doesn't know anything else'. He paused. 'We'll need to know what happened down there, Lily. All we can gather is that this isn't a friendly race of being. Are you okay with that?'

I shook my head, plastering that wry smile back on my face. 'I'm not gonna go batshit from shock or anything, Jim. I've traveled into the future and I handled _that_ pretty well, I think. You ask, I'll tell, yeah?'

Jim looked at me, eyes narrowing only briefly, and then he nodded. 'Lillabelle Adams,' he sighed. 'Come on then'.

* * *

I realized, as we entered the Bridge, that I was quickly getting used to seeing so many different types of people, and they were getting used to me. I no longer tugged at my sleeves in nervousness or avoided eye contact with everyone - I welcomed the feeling of the creative geniuses around me, all working and thinking and buzzing with life.

Ten minutes later, I stood at the head of the Bridge with Kirk, a place that was slowly beginning to become my favorite. At the beginning of the interrogation, it was only Kirk of whom I spoke to, but then questions and musings from other members of the Bridge popped into the conversation, until many of the 'Alpha' crew, as Jim called them, were involved in the discussion.

'How many of the women were pregnant?' asked Kirk, turning away from me with his hand to his mouth as he chewed at his thumb nail.

'Fifteen,' I replied. 'Considering that I could tell they were pregnant, they were all pretty far along'. I paused, drawing my eyebrows together. 'When I got in there, I was about to call you, but Dar stopped me. She said that if any of the women saw, they'd go, like, psycho or whatever. She said they're all pretty _loyal _to their men'.

'But why?' inquired Sulu, leaning back in his chair. 'Why would they _love _a group of men who either stole them from their real families, or forced them to become a Lorik breeding programme?'

'_Exactly,' _mused Kirk. 'These Lunikai-'

'I only saw them before I climbed down - they said that I should get out of the sun in case it hurt me, same with the Lorik. I think that they use it as something to worship, but something to _punish _too'. I blinked. 'Dar said that I shouldn't let them touch me'.

Kirk looked up at that. 'Yeah?'

'Yeah,' I nodded, furrowing my brow. 'I think that's why the women are so in love with the Lorik men. Dar said...it's kinda like with Vulcan's,' I gave Kirk a clueless look, but he breathed in and nodded slowly. 'She said that when the Lorik's touch their mates, their minds are completely bounded, or something like that. Like...they're matched, and they can see your mind and you can see theirs'.

Jim rubbed at his face. '_That_ could be problematic. Spock?'

The flawlessly presented man inclined his head. 'Although I can sense similarities with a Vulcan mind-meld to what Ensign Adams is describing, I sense that there is a more possessive and involuntary aspects to this. Captain. From what Miss Adams has told us, the Lorik race have power over the humanoid Lunikai. Although, I fail to understand why they are then trapped inside the structure of which we have found. Surely their power would suggest that they are the ruling race?' Spock asked, standing near the Captain's chair with his hand clasped behind his back.

Jim looked to me expectantly and I shrugged. 'I don't know,' I answered. 'I don't get it either'.

'So we have a race that aims to have a clean, red haired race because that's what their Sun God wants. They don't like the people living up top because they're tainting their _godly species. _And every red haired woman they see is automatically theirs'. He ran a hand through his perfectly styled hair. It hardly moved. 'But _now _they know that you and Dar _weren't s_ent from their God, so they're pissed'.

'They're going to question Dar,' I said quietly. 'And the way they said it suggested they would _make_ her talk if she didn't comply. But...it doesn't make sense. I don't think they _hurt_ women'.

There was quiet after that, until Uhura's voice broke through the beeping and the thinking. 'Captain, the foreign vessel is closer, sir. I don't...' she reached up to flip a switch, holding the ear bud closer and tilting her head. 'The _USS Pegasus _patrols the Klingon neutral zone, Captain. They say that no Klingon ships have left Klingon space'.

So it's not one of those nasty Klingon spaceships. Good.

Jim walked quickly up to the Captain's chair. 'What are you thinking, Lieutenant?'

I turned away from the conversation, deciding that this was not something that I would be involved in, nor needed to be involved in. I looked out of the Bridge's observation window, wondering what the hell was happening to Dar. We knew that we could not go in and get her, not after what had happened before. These Loriks were _better _and _faster. _We needed to think and plan _quickly._

I think it was then that I knew I was, somehow, part of this. Part of whatever the hell _this _was.

'Captain!'

Uhura's voice was louder this time, and far more alarmed. She half turned in her chair, holding at an earpiece and squinting. 'Captain, the foreign vessel is attempting to make contact with us. We have an incoming transmission'. She stared at Jim, waiting for his decision. I hung back once again, glad that I had decided not to leave.

'Allow it. Put it on the screen'. And with that, Jim had settled into the Captain's chair with his hands grasping at the chair's armrests. 'Mr Sulu, make sure all of our shields are up and that they aren't scanning the _Enterprise. _We don't want them to know how many are on board just yet'.

'Yes, Captain'.

Uhura turned in her chair and, a moment later and the screen flared to life. What I saw made my heart drop and my eyes widened comically. There was a man, sitting on a chair, with flaming red hair. The marks on his skin were not only familiar, but near _identical _to those that I had seen perhaps an hour before. His green eyes blinked curiously at the Captain, whilst the rest of the crew watched hesitantly as Jim said,

'My names is Captain James T. Kirk of the _USS Enterprise_. What business do you have contacting a Federation vessel?'

I edged closer to Jim's chair. 'Jim,' I whispered.

He ignored me, focusing only on _it. _Come on, he _must _have realized by now - I mean, the _hair_ on _it _was a dead giveaway.'I am At'ika. What business does this James T. Kirk have straying so closely to a Lorikian planet? Is there something that James T. Kirk is looking for?' The Lorik cocked its brow, smiling quite serenely at Jim.

'Their shields are up, Captain,' murmured Sulu, hand hovering over the panel before him.

'Jim,' I tried again, very quietly. 'That's _them_'.

'One of my crew,' began Jim, voice tight. I had no idea whether he had heard me or not, but decided that it was too dangerous for me to try again. 'Was taken by a hostile group. I sent my people onto this planet, and two women were taken against their will. Only one managed to escape. Would you care to explain, At'ika, why my crew were attacked?'

The Lorik on the screen lent back, eyebrows raised. 'You strayed near the Pit'. Two guesses what that was. 'Do I have permission to board your vessel, Captain Kirk? It would seem that we have much to discuss concerning the kidnapping of one of your crew members. I can assure you that I am no danger'.

Jim leaned back in his chair, jaw tight as he stared down this At'ika. Finally, he gave a swift nod. 'You take down your shields and we'll take down ours'. With that, the Lorik nodded once, the connection was lost and Jim was spinning from his chair, already issuing orders. 'Sulu, lower our shields only when they have. Chekov, lock onto their signal and order a Security team to the beaming deck. Spock, Lily - come with me to the beaming deck'.

I nearly glared at him, but knew that wouldn't do me any favours. I was tired, scared, I had seen a woman get her leg bitten into by an insane rabid alien species. One touch, and I would have been completely devoted to a being who would have mated with me without my real consent, and I had gone into that pit without knowing any of this. So, instead of glaring at Jim, I simply imagined punching him because, really, he wasn't afraid of pushing me.

It helped.

'Is he going to beam aboard then?'

Jim nodded, stepping back to allow Spock and myself to leave the Bridge first. 'First contact is needed here. What do you think of this At'ika?' He looked to me, and I understood that I was one of the few who had met these Lorik's face to face.

I shook my head, falling into step with the smooth gliding Spock whose head was inclined slightly in rapt attention. 'He's not like them. He was wearing _clothes, _for one thing. And he speaks English _way _better than the others in the _Pit._ Theirs was quite broken'.

'Captain, I concur our earlier theory that this Pit is a prison for those to not be associated with, as is my opinion,' spoke up Spock.

'I agree, Mr Spock'.

* * *

**And that's the last of the re-uploaded chapters. **

**Once again, thank you so much for the positive feedback. Apparently most of your agree with me concerning the change of pairing, which is awesome, thanks! As you can see, I've changed the ending to this chapter as I've seen a change in the direction of what's happened. Funsies!**


	9. He Gave Me The Job

**There are mentions of non-consensual sex in this chapter. Sorry if this offends.**

* * *

At'ika was tall and lithe, just like the other Lorik males I had encountered on the surface of the planet. I stood taller when he was beamed onto the ship, as he stepped away from the magical looking swirls that came with the action of beaming. He looked regal in that position, stature stiff and straight as he considered the lot of us. I stared back.

His species terrified me, but I wasn't going to let anyone know that.

He wore dark, soft looking robes and tight black clothing beneath, while his feet stayed completely bare. His hair went past his shoulders, but looked cleaner and straighter than the Lorik male from the planet. His green eyes, though, were exactly the same, and they blinked at me quickly while the brow above rose higher still.

'You brought the woman with you, Captain Kirk,' he said, and his voice was lovely like molten chocolate. 'The woman who escaped'. His eyes flashed away from me to land on Jim, who stood a little taller, a little closer. The Security team stood behind us, and some outside of the door. Jim had stated that we wouldn't want to look threatening. 'I'm sorry for what my brothers did to you, _Aklafeesa'._

'What was that?' Jim's voice was sharp, though not unkind.

At'ika bowed his head. '_Aklafee _are our men, _Aklafeesa _are our women. Our brides of fire with red sewn into their soul. I understand, of course, that you are not one of my People, so that is why you must cringe from the title. May I have your name?'

I eyed him. 'Lily'.

'Lily,' he tasted the name. 'Captain Kirk, who have my brothers taken from you?'

Jim explained, allowing me to tell what had happened on my side of the story. At'ika nodded, tightened his jaw and then sighed. 'My brothers are trapped beneath the ground. They are being punished for mistreating our women, for mistreating the Lunikai, of whom we share our home planet with. Those in the Pit are criminals, and that is their prison'.

Knew. It.

'But there are Lunikai _serving _them,' I dictated quickly. 'They practically _shoved _me into the Pit'.

At'ika bowed his head once again. 'The Lunikai see us as Gods and Goddesses, yes, but never has it been accepted for them to serve us in such a way. We live in peace, away from the Pit, but some saw it as the Sun Gods way to serve us in a different manner, in body and in soul. So, they chose to follow the prisoners to the Pit, and there they offer them women with fire in their hair'.

'That's disgusting,' I snapped, wrinkling my nose in anger. 'How haven't you stopped it?'

'Lily,' admonished Jim awkwardly and then, intervening in a smoother tone, 'Mr Spock here went down onto the planet's surface, as we've said, and Dar was taken. Will they hurt her?'

'_Hurt _her? He already _bit _her!'

At'ika took a quick breath through his nose in surprise. 'You did not tell me this. If she has been marked in such a way, then I cannot help you. A touch with one of my kind, when expressed in a certain way from the male, is enough to bond both minds. He is hers and she is his. There is not separation of the minds, nor any secrets. If my brother has taken the woman's blood into his mouth, then not only is she is, but no one can take her from him. It is against my peoples beliefs'.

'He has stated an ownership over Ensign Dar so that no other can claim her, nor intervene with her rescue?' clarified Spock.

'I am sorry'.

'That's bullshit,' snapped Jim, clenching his fists. 'You can't help us? They're _prisoners _who lure women into that _Pit _to honor your Sun God, and you refuse to do anything about it? You're _letting _this happen!'

At'ika sent Kirk a sharp look with his green eyes. 'We have prisons in our cities on Lorik, but the Pit is something else entirely. Once a brother or sister of mine is sent to the Pit, they are to stay there and do what they want there, but they are not allowed out of the Pit. And we are not to interfere with what happens there. It is why our cities are situated so far away from it. We want nothing to do with it'.

'Cities? What cities?'

'Underground,' glared At'ika. 'Hidden. Secret. My vessel is much like yours, used to protect my home planet from any threats. It is why I was forced to make contact with you after I was alerted of what area of Lorik you were so interested in, Captain'.

There was a brief silence.

'If you have decided that you cannot help us, I assume that we have nothing left to discuss,' stated Spock, arms still linked behind his back. 'Captain?'

'Agreed. You won't help us?'

'Captain Kirk,' replied the Lorik. 'You misunderstand, your companion will not want to leave her mates side now that they are bonded. If you wish to rescue her at all, I would advise waiting three days, for this is the time in which the two bonded mates are given to be at close quarters with one another in complete isolation. After that, I assume Lily here will know where the women gather'.

I couldn't trust myself to speak, so I merely nodded stiffly.

'You expect us to _leave _her down there for _three days?' _

At'ika stared placidly back at Jim. 'There is nothing else you can do. If those in the Pit follow the mating rituals of those in the free cities, then you will not be able to find your crew member until the three day mating ritual is over. Firstly, because it is quite impossible and, secondly, because an interrupted mating can damage both minds significantly. Because of this - and I am sorry, Captain - I cannot allow you to venture onto Lorik's surface. As guardian of Lorik, I forbid it'.

'But...you're practically letting him rape her,' the words fell from my mouth in a desperate plea, a reminder of what was truly happening to Ensign Dar. 'You can't let that happen - you can _stop _this'.

The Lorik cocked a brow in a very Spock-like manner. 'Rape. A harsh word, considering that your friend is consensual in this mating, is she not?'

'Well she doesn't fucking _want _to be-!'

'Ensign Adams,' cut in Jim- no, _Captain Kirk. _When he put _that _voice on, he was my Captain. 'At'ika, thank you. If that's all of the information you can give us concerning the Pit, then I think we're done here'.

The Lorik left a minute later, stepping back onto the beaming deck with a swift nod and a promise that he would be watching us, ensuring that we would not step foot onto Lorik for three days. 'And only go to the Pit,' he warned. 'That is all I will allow. Do not try to find the free cities'.

My wave, the moment he left, quickly turned into the finger.

'Mature,' observed Kirk, nodding to the red shirted Security team and dismissing them. He spied out my outraged look and sighed. 'Spock, take the chair, will you? Comm me if anything happens, and explain the situation to the crew in a ship wide transmission. We might have to get a hold of Dar's family to warn them of the situation'.

'Yes, Captain'.

Jim eyed my glare, cast a glance at those working at the navigations desk and beckoned me forward, already starting out of the room. 'I'm the Captain, Lily, and as the Captain I gotta ensure the safety of _all _of my crew'. I stumbled to keep in step with him, grinding my teeth together.

'But we could _save _her-'

'Do _you _know where this Lorikian mate of hers is keeping her?' he asked, suddenly swinging around and raising both eyebrows at me. I skidded to a halt, mouth falling open at his wild expression . 'Because I don't. In three days, we'll know. In three days, we can beam onto that planet without the threat of a whole other ship on us. In three days, we can _try _and take Ensign Dar back. Because, _apparently, _she might not even want to _come _back!'

I was about to reply with some kind of defensive statement that usually popped out whenever someone shouted at me (something which I hated, hated, _hated) _but I was distracted as Jim ran a hand through his hair, sighed, and rested said hand against his face.

'I shouldn't have sent you down there,' he admitted, drawing his hand away from his face and staring at me with bright eyes, and my stomach dropped. 'I shouldn't have sent any of you down there without _knowing _the species more, but _you_ above everyone else. You haven't been through the_ training _that my crew has-'

'Not _everything's _your fault,' I scowled. 'God, you have such a hero complex. _Must save everyone. Everything that goes wrong is my fault-'_

'I'm the Captain of this ship, it's my _job _to ensure the safety of my crew. Starfleet ordered me to keep you safe, so I beam you into a prison Pit for unstable aliens'. He held his hands in the air. 'Fantastic'.

'Well,' I shrugged. 'I won't tell 'em'.

'I have to file a Captain's report'.

'Lie'.

'_That _never ends well. Believe me'.

'It's as much my fault as it is yours,' I pointed out, shrugging. 'I let her let _me _go first all of the time. I was supposed to be the one saving her, wasn't I? But I let her help me, and then I let the Lorik's take her. Pretty shitty rescue mission'.

Jim shut me up with a step forward. 'You know what Bones said, when we got the transmission from Ensign Deva and not you? He said that he wouldn't believe for a second that you were dead, because- well, he used a metaphor that I've elected to ignore, but you're not _nearly _as useless as you think you are, Ensign'.

That made me all bashful. 'Don't turn this into a _moment, _Captain'.

Jim smiled. 'We'll get Ensign Dar back. I don't lose my crew; that's my rule. Now, as your Captain, I have my first order for you. Go to Security and find Ensign Deva. She'll take it from there. After that, go back to your quarters'.

'Why?'

'Because there's a red uniform waiting for you there, and after spending a few hours in Security, you'll be able to decide whether you wanna wear it or not'. His hand touched my shoulder. 'Despite everything, you did well today, Ensign Adams'.

I smiled. 'Thank you, Captain'.

* * *

I _liked _Sammander. The kind of like where you just admire how cool and nice and _good _they are. I quickly attached the words 'friend crush' to what I felt for the slightly older, smiling woman.

'We tried,' she told me, leaning against a desk. 'You tried. There's nothing we can do now'. She had paused, eyes darting up look behind me. 'Farchid! Do you know if we're being sent down again, or...?'

Before the stoic, blank faced woman could reply, I answered with, 'We've been banned by that Lorik ship for three days'.

'Thank God,' sighed Sammander quietly, as soon as Farchid had turned away. 'That was fucked up, down there I mean. They seemed so..._slimy. _Like they were seducing you and plotting to kill you at the same time, you know?' I did know, so I nodded. 'Jesus, I hope Dar's okay. She a tough cookie, but they seemed like they knew what they were doing'.

I blinked and opened my mouth, unsure. 'I don't think that they will hurt her, Sam'. At her look, I nodded. 'Honestly. They just want to know what the heck we're doing here, and I dunno how they'll try and get the information out of her but...they don't hurt women. Badly, anyway. I just...I can't see them doing that, red hair or not'.

Jim had told me, firmly, that I was not to tell anyone about what was happening with Ensign Dar. As far as everyone else knew, she was being held hostage by the Lorik's. There was no point in telling them that they were brainwashing her into being a human incubus for Lorikian babies.

Sammander stared at me for a moment, and then shrugged. 'I hope so, Lily. I really do'.

And I understood that this was a woman of whom they all knew and worked with. I hadn't seen Torte anywhere on the ship, and I could only assume that he'd wandered off to be by himself. I didn't know Dar personally, I couldn't even say that I had _liked her - _yet there was that tugging feeling that it had been _my _job to rescue her.

I shrunk back and watched as the red shirted people milled about me. I'd gathered information on what they mainly did, which consisted of going down on ground mission (to planets etc), keeping an eye on the 'beaming' room whenever a newcomer was to arrive onto the ship and, generally, anyway security related jobs.

I had perched myself on the edge of a table in the middle of the Security Division of the _Enterprise, _and all I could see was red. Red dresses, red shirts - a good colour, I must admit. I wouldn't mind wearing it, when it came to it.

'C'mon'.

I looked up, fingers curling around the edge of the table, and blinked. Sammander was standing in front of me with her hands perched on her hips and her mouth pulled into a shrewd smile.

'I can see that you're beating yourself up about what happened with Dar,' she said quietly, ducking her head to speak only to me. I group of redshirts laughed loudly around a table at the back of the white, brightly lit room. Others scoped out computerised images on the wall, or stood idly by windows where the stars beyond were visible.

'We've all been there, you know. Felt responsible for something or someone,' Sammander explained, eyebrow knitting together with sincerity. _She's so like Jade. _'Everyone kind of dismisses the Starfleet Security, you know? So many of us are _just _Ensigns - but we see the worst of it, and _get _the worst of it. We get hurt the most, lose the most because _we're _the ones protecting people-'

I blinked. 'You shouldn't say that'.

Sammander laughed and held up her hands, her knitted eyebrows loosening. 'I'm just saying what people at the Academy think! People on a federation vessels know how hard we work and how much we matter as a team. And that's what you gotta realize - we all see the loss of _someone. _Not that I'm saying Dar's a goner. Man, _nothing _could ever stop that woman'.

I chuckled, legs swinging. 'That's the impression I got'.

Sammander smiled happily, sensing that I understood what she had told me. 'C'mon,' she repeated. 'Lieutenant Giotto asked me to see how you are with a phaser - you know, test your aim and all that. Is that okay?'

'Uh-'

'He's our Security Chief, so I'm guessing Captain Kirk must have had a word with him about you signing up, I guess. No offense, but even if the Captain sees you as Security material, we gotta check your aim and you capabilities'.

Jim had _known_ and he hadn't _warned _me about this?

As Sam led me past the groups of relaxing redshirts on their break, I quelled my nerves slightly. _This _I could do. I knew how to aim, how to fire, how to breathe and see what I was aiming for. It came from those years of archery, and then my friends getting me to shoot darts at the local pub. I had a good eye for aiming and catching the bullseye.

This I could do.

Five minutes later, I was holding a 'phaser' - a gun, really. Knowing that I had never held or used one before, Sam instructed me on how to use it and how to hold it, going so far as to twist my arms to get the right grasp on the foreign object.

I was instructed to aim for a metal disk at the far end of the new, shiny room. There were five metal disks on the opposing wall and, funnily enough, they looked like a dart boards. Circles descending inwards, black and perfect and, with my eyes narrowed, I breathed in, tongue running along my teeth. _Don't disappoint. Prove you're good enough. _

I'd never shot a gun, but I knew that with there was a backlash with it - like, you could feel the bullet being pushed out of it and, sometimes, your arm would jerk or something like that. I noticed that with the phaser it was quite relaxed. Sure, my hand jerked upward with the shot of it, but it was all power and charge and landing in the direct bullseye of the metal disc.

I understood why they were metal, anyway. If it had been plastic, it would have probably burnt straight through.

Sam sighed and clapped me on the back. 'Jeez, am I glad you weren't shit. _That _would have been awkward'. I turned to her, phaser still dangling from my hand and feeling overly giddy at the fact that I had just _shot a gun__. _Sam held up her hand and, with a grin, I had gone in for a high five. 'No!' she laughed, shaking her head. 'Punch my hand as hard as you can. I wanna see if you can pack a punch'.

I blinked, curling my fingers. 'I don't want to hurt you,' I near whined.

Sam, once again, laughed. 'Cocky, huh? Go on, I have three brothers. I've taken worse'. I hesitated but she nodded, holding her palm toward me with fingers pulled stiffly together. 'Hit me, Adams'. And I did, fist curling and thumb brought forward to brush against my fingers. I hit her with as much force as I could, but she hardly moved. Sam grinned and flapped her hand about. 'Good. Real good. I want you to go to the ships work out a- ugh, _gym _every day though, okay? You seem fit, which is good, but you need to _train. _Tell you what, give me a ring and I'll join you. Train you up'.

'Show me some moves, huh?'

She grinned brightly. 'Yeah!'

I decided that for the next three days I would do anything that I could to spend time with people, to distract myself from what was happened on that destructive planet below us. The moment I thought about it too much, I would only begin to think about everything else that I was choosing to ignore.

* * *

**If anyone thinks that I should change the rating to M because of the subject matter how this chapter, I will do that without hesitation. I'm sorry if it upset or offended anyone, I really am. **

**Thank you so much for the feedback!**


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